Time can't heal all wounds
by Vigilluminatus
Summary: What happened in the lost 20 years in How long is forever? Why did Robin leave the team? What has happened to Cyborg? Why is Raven mad? And why is BB going to be bald? RobStar, RobRav friendship
1. Silence

**Time can't heal all wounds**

Preface: This fanfic treats the 20 years, which Starfire missed during her trip into the future in „How long is forever?". In this future there are no Titans anymore, Robin is a lonesome avenger, Beast Boy is an attraction in a circus, Cyborg isn't able to leave the Tower and Raven fled from reality into a madhouse long ago. I'll try to tell, how all this could have happened during these 20 years.

Disclaimer: The Teen Titans do not belong to me. Are you satisfied now? sniff

* * *

_Chapter 1: Silence_

"Starfire!"

Robins voice resounded through the building, bounced off on distant walls and slowly came back to him as a fading echo. Hastily he looked around, but the picture remained the same: Here in the museum of Jump City four Teen Titans were present. The fifth one had just fallen before his eyes into a wormhole, which had collapsed after that.

"Where is she?", Beast Boy asked uncertainly, and that was really saying something. The green shapeshifter had always been the most cheerful member of the Titans and was never at a loss for some cheap joke.

"Starfire? Damn girl, where are you?", the brawny giant Cyborg started to shout too. Hectically he scanned the room, but of course he couldn't discover her anywhere.

For some seconds there was complete silence, while eight eyes continued to wander around in the empty room increasingly anxious. In the end the last member of the Titans, a tender, pale girl closed her purple eyes.

"She is away", she informed her teammates with her usual, nearly unemotional voice. "Starfire... is lost in time now."

"No!" Robins voice was loud and firm, when he got up and clenched his fists. "She has NOT disappeared. Probably she has already re-emerged from that vortex somewhere outside of the museum! We must search her and Warp!"

"Skip it, Robin", Cyborg replied too and slouched his shoulders. "Raven is right. Starfire has disappeared in time with Warp. Maybe for good."

"Now wait a sec, dude!", Beast Boy announced and grabbed the metal arm of his half-human friend. "She could simply take away this time-control-thingy from Warp in his time. She's maybe even returning in this moment!"

"Exactly, Beast Boy is right", Robin agreed. "If we wait here, she'll certainly come back to us in a few minutes!"

"And who is going to teach her how to use this control properly?", Raven wanted to know. The witch stared at Robin piercingly with her face hidden in the shadows of her hood. "Warp will barely tell her that."

"Well, she could force him to do!", Beast Boy recommanded as restlessly as Robin had talked before. Nevertheless the girl barely seemed impressed. "If she only becomes furious enough, she can definitely kick his butt badly!"

„But if she defeats him, she will also take away the clock of eternity from him", Cyborg retorted to Beast Boy. "Her sense of justice won't allow her to let him keep the clock. And so he has one more reason not to help her."

"I don't give a damn about this clock!", Robin shouted even more loudly. "For my part she can simply let this piece of scrap rot in the future, who cares? If she allows him to keep the clock, he will send her back for sure."

"No, he won't", Raven answered quietly and closed her eyes. "Because he knows, that we could – and would – travel into his future again to get back the clock from him. He won't take this risk, Robin."

"Whatever", the leader of the Titans interrupted the ongoing discussion and sat down. "Nevertheless I'm going to stay here, in case that something happens. If Starfire comes back, okay, good. If not, then we're going to search the city for her."

None of three other Titans dared to ask, what they should do, if they didn't find the red-haired alien princess. Robin did not seem to be in the mood for further discussions. Thus they sat down too next to their leader waiting and seeing. They all had still some hope, that everything would turn out alright. But this hope was decreasing in every passing second.

* * *

Wavering light began to light up the rooms in the T-Tower, as a tall, bulky und especially tired figure stomped through the door towards the common room. Cyborg had searched his quarter of the city within some endless appearing hours, had shouted the living daylights out of his half-mechanical body for his friend, but the only fruits he had reaped for that had been insults from rudely awakened persons. He had found nothing, just as he had thought. No track of Starfire or Warp or even the smallest space-time-distortion, he hadn't been able to find anything even with his high-tech gears. For the sake of Robin he had even waded through some miles of the canalization, until he had surrendered in the end because of tiredness. If Starfire still was somewhere in this city, she would anyway go to the one place, whereto they would return too, she'd fly home to the Tower. Even if she was injured, after a while she would awake or somebody would find her and then they would get to know of her.

Cyborg sighed. As much as these thoughts were calming him down, the still most convictive scenario was after all, that Starfire had traveled into the future with Warp and probably was kept imprisoned there in this moment. From his point of view nothing else remained to be done but waiting, until the red-haired girl managed to come back here without their help. If she ever managed coming back.

The boy collapsed onto soft couch, which groaned slightly under his weight. For just a little moment he considered the possibility to turn on the television in order to distract himself, but then he scrapped that tempting plan. He was sure, that he won't have been able to concentrate right now. In addition, he could imagine quite well, how Robin would react, if he found him watching TV. Thus he decided to wait, until the others made their way back. Presumably that wouldn't take very long. Indeed, he had his gears, which had been a great help for his search for Starfire, and so he had been allowed to come back earlier than the others, but he knew, that this searching conveyed no sense for Raven too. If Robin had not insisted on combing the city for their friend, she would have returned here immediately.

With Beast Boy and Robin it would probably be a little different. The shapeshifter was still clinging to the possibility, that Warps time-travel-device had not worked. He would search, until his stomach forced him to give in. And Robin himself... well, their fearless leader had proved plenty of times, that he was too stubborn to abandon a cause after just a few hours. In addition, he would never leave a member of the Titans behind, he had brought together this team, it meant too much to him. To say nothing of the much more important reason to find Starfire...

Cyborg sat up, when his sensors registered someone at the door of the tower. For a few moments he conceived the hope it was Starfire with all his willpower, but when the door was pushed open and he catched a glimpse of a blowing blue cape, the hope evaporated. Well, to be honest he hadn't been believing in Stars wondrous return anyhow. He subtly nodded to Raven, who was floating in the room as stony-faced as usual, and got up.

"No success?", he asked to drown this uncomfortable silence, which was stimulating his dark thoughts.

Raven didn't even appreciate this question of an answer, instead she shook her head wordless. She took off her hood and looked around.

"Except of us nobody has come back yet", Cyborg answered her unexpressed question. "Robin and Beast Boy are still out there." Raven nodded again, as if she had already been expecting that answer. „Wanna have... a tea?", Cyborg approached her once more.

"Thanks, that would be nice", the witch answered while keeping a straight face. "It's quite cold out there."

Cyborg went to the kitchen, put a can of water on the hotplate and two tea bags in the can. As a precaution he had completely filled the can, after all Beast Boy and Robin could come in any minute and if not ... well, he needed something to calm down anyway.

When he looked back at Raven, he lifted his remained eyebrow. The mysterious girl stood next to one of the numerous windows in the tower and looked out into the night completely lost in her thoughts. He had thought a lot of things about her in the last years, but he'd never imagined her to be lost in thoughts. In nearly every moment they had stayed together in the past she had seemed to be self-concentrated and without emotions at all, had settled her matters with cold precision and had kept a level head, but he had never seen her that absorbed in thoughts. Even if she had been reading one of her creepy books or meditating, she had still been focused on this thing. Star's disappearance seemed to occupy her, even if she tried to dissemble it. Immediately he scolded himself for being an idiot. Of course it was affecting her, Starfire was her friend, the best (and maybe only) girlfriend Raven had.

He was woken up from his thoughts by the noise of boiling water. In a hurry he took the can away from the hotplate and poured the boiling water into two prepared cups. Then he put the can onto the hotplate again and turned back the gas, took the cups and returned to the table.

"Tea's ready", he remarked in the same monotonous tone of voice Raven used to adopt normally.

The girl turned around in silence, sat down towards him and took a nip from her cup. She seemed to be unwilling to supply any entertainment, and to tell the truth, he was slowly running out of topics of conversation too. Thus they both stayed slowly drinking their tea without a word. After he had refilled the cups once, Cyborg couldn't control himself after all.

"You believe, that they can find her?", he asked Raven quietly.

"No", she answered immediately without even lifting her head. Without the slightest stirring she continued to stare at the wall behind Cyborg.

"But it is not impossible, is it?"

Raven sighed. "Cyborg, you saw what has happened back there. Starfire has disappeared in this wormhole with Warp. If she isn't able to get back here on her own, then I fear we'll never see her again."

"You sound like you don't care about her at all", Cyborg commented reproachfully, while he took a nip.

Raven pressed her lips together and her fingers became cramped.

"I know, that you do", the half-human boy continued. "You are worrying about Star just as much as I or the others do, you just don't wanna show it. I can respect this, I think..., but do you really have to be so pessimistic?"

"Optimists are pessimists, who do not want to see the truth."

Cyborg lifted an eyebrow. "Do you really think that?", he asked quietly.

Before the girl could give him an answer, they heard once more the noise of the opening door. Both looked up simultanously and saw Beast Boy, who shuffled in with sagging shoulders. The shapeshifter darted a tired look at them and sighed without a word. Cyborg got up.

"Come here, man, sit down", he invited the green boy to do. „Just drink a cup of tea with us. You look completely devastated."

"Ravens tea?", the shapeshifter requested, while he went to the table.

"Yes", Cyborg confirmed and grabbed another cup from the cupboard. "She's paying for this round."

Normally he would at least have earned a black look for that, but Raven didn't even note, that Beast Boy was grinning at her briefly. As he realized, that she didn't perceive him at all, he lowered his head and sighed once more.

"I have searched really everywhere", he told them, as if he had to apologize. "I have sniffed in every lil hole in my part of the city, I have been shouting, scanning the roofs by air, until I got too tired to do anything. But I couldn't find her."

"It's not your fault, Beast Boy", Cyborg calmed him down and offered him the cup of tea. "Maybe Robin will find her."

Raven darted a disbelieving glance at him, however she refused at least to utter a disheartening comment. But who was he to judge her? He didn't believe in Robin's success either.

"Yes, maybe", Beast Boy, who had not noted his tone of voice, muttered, sat up and dashed down half of the cup at once. "He won't come back, until he has at least found a track of her, that pighead."

_Or until he breaks down under exhaustion and has no choice but coming back_, Cyborg thought and looked at Raven knowingly. He was sure, that she was thinking exactly the same.

"Yeah, of course", he murmured and took another nip.

"I just hope, that he decides to return, before something bad happens", Raven said quietly.

Beast Boy pricked up his ears. "Whataya mean with that?", he asked alarmed.

She gave a shrug. "He is completely focused on his search for Starfire in the moment. If he doesn't pay attention, it may be possible, that he is caught off guard."

"Nonsense", Cyborg scouted this idea. "Robin is never careless of danger."

"But he hadn't been that determined since that cause with Slade", Raven argued and shifted around on her chair worriedly. "I just think... that maybe his deep worry about Starfire could draw off his attention too much, as that he could watch his surroundings properly."

"Hey, that Slade-thing was completely different!", Beast Boy flared up and rose so fast, that his chair fell back. "How dare ya say, that Robin is becoming careless? Just because you don't trust him, you have no right..."

Cyborg grabbed Beast Boys arm, as he noted, that Raven had stiffened at these last words. "Beast Boy, drop that! Raven doesn't wish Robin ill, she's just worried about him like we are. He will eventually come back unharmed... and now SIT DOWN!"

Beast Boy nervously ran his fingers through his green hair and would have nearly toppled down, as he tried to sit on his fallen over chair. After he had positioned the chair again, he cleared his throat. "'m sorry, Rae. Maybe I freaked out a little bit. Must have been cause of the stress of the whole day..."

Raven looked daggers at him a few more seconds, but ultimately she relaxed. "All right", she said. "Look, I hope too, that Robin will return unharmed. But it isn't sure, we should at least consider, that we might have to search for two persons tomorrow."

"Speak of the devil and he'll show up", Cyborg mumbled. To raise the spirits a little bit, he bent over the table, put on a grin and asked teasingly: "Hope, Rae? You of all people? Does Robin really mean so much to you? Are there a few things about you and the Boy Wonder you haven't told us yet?"

"What?", Beast Boy cried out puzzled. "Raven has fallen for Robin?"

Raven shoot a steely glance at him, and the green-skinned boy stepped back cautiously. "Nonsense", she managed to aspirate between clenched teeth, while she shared her glance with the still grinning Cyborg, who flinched a little bit. "Cyborg just made a completely silly joke. Robin is just my team leader and an appreciative friend... anyhow HE is able to understand, that such jokes don't go down well with me!"

"Never mind, never mind", Cyborg refused still grinning. "I just wanted to brighten the party somehow, has it been that bad?"

"And besides", Beast Boy interjected quietly, "Starfire would certainly have noticed something like that... and then we all would have been drowned in torrents of tears."

Everyone of the three fell silent, when the topic „Starfire" came up again and for a few minutes each one was engrossed in thought. Then Raven got up suddenly.

"I should better go to my room", she informed the boys. "I don't believe, that Robin will arrive here so soon. Thanks for the tea, Cyborg."

"Is yours anyway", he shouted after her, as the dark girl turned around and disappeared in the hallway leading to her room. Then he sighed and turned to Beast Boy: "Hey, man, wanna play a few levels of Burning Wheels III, until Robin gets his butt back here?"

But the green boy shook his head. "No, not today, Cy, thanks. I'm not in the mood for video games right now. I'll hit the hay too."

"Well okay", Cyborg agreed. He had expected this refusal. „Then let's go. I hope, that Robin'll have found the way home till tomorrow. See you then."

"Yeah, see ya."

* * *

What do you think about the story so far? Is it realistic or OOC? Is it worth to continue? 


	2. Exhausted

**Time can't heal all wounds**

Disclaimer: Yes, I'm still writing about characters and stories I don't own.

Aurora Starcrystal: Good guess, I'm Austrian. I know, that tenses are my weak point in English, and translating word plays from German into English is rather difficult I fear. I'll try to be more careful from now on, okay?

ReaderPal: Sorry, but it will just be Rae/Star-friendship. The main pairing is Robin/Star. The story is already written, and I'm just translating it now.

* * *

_Chapter 2: Exhausted_

It would actually be believable to assume, that no one would find rest in such a night, but in defense of the Titans you had to say, that they were dead tired cause of the many hours lasting search for Starfire. Thus everyone woke up unusually late on the next morning. Beast Boy was the first one, who peeled his head out of the pillows silently muttering. For only one moment it was granted to him to expect a normal, nice day, but then he remembered the events of the last day again and his otherwise so happy look darkened.

In total silence he got the morning toilet over with and went down to the common room, still brooding about where their friend was... and how she was doing. And whether Robin had already returned from his search. He didn't want to think about what they should do, if Ravens dark prophecy came true and he did not come back...

But at least this one worry turned out to be without cause, because the leader of the Teen Titans was sitting at the kitchen table, when Beast Boy bent around the corner, a glass of water standing in front of him. However, he was in a pitiable condition. Robins suit was mudcovered, what actually not really was something unusual. Indeed, he still hadn't taken the time to wipe the stain off his face, never mind to clean his hair. Apparently he had walked in search for Starfire through big parts of the canalization. Cause of his mask he could not see the eyes of the boy, but Beast Boy was sure, that there were dark rings round them. Robin looked as if he had gotten no sleep at all. And although Beast Boy had been gazing at him already for a whole minute, Robin was still staring at the water glass, as if he hoped, it would tell him the secrets of the universe.

"Hey", Beast Boy greeted him timidly, after he had recovered from his surprise. "It's good you're back, dude! We were becoming rather anxious bout you."

„Good?", Robin asked in a strange tone. "Good would be, if I had found Starfire." His grip on the glass got firmer.

"Hey hey, you mustn't blame yourself for that, Robin", Beast Boy tried to calm his friend down. "We haven't found her either, man. But today we'll start the scavenger hunt again immediately after breakfast, don't worry. Maybe she's somewhere out of the city and wasn't able to come back yet."

Beast Boy knew very well, how unlikely that was. Even if Starfire had reappeared somewhere around the world, she would have contacted them somehow in the meantime. And if she hadn't done that, then just because she was sure, that she could cover the distance in a short time... or because something bad had happened to her. And Robin knew all that too. He remained quiet.

"Have you already had breakfast?", Beast Boy asked uneasy. "You look, as if your stomach is desperately crying for my help. Come on, dude, I'll make you a tofu sandwich you'll daydream about for years..."

For some moments Robin said nothing at all and Beast Boy feared, that he would already have gone lost in his thoughts again. "Thanks", he ultimately mumbled. Presumably he hadn't eaten anything at all, since he came back. That would be just like him.

The whole time, while he was puttering in the kitchen, Beast Boy babbled of all kinds of things, which came into his mind fast enough, but Robin showed very little reaction. Well, at least he could not completely loose himself in thought, if he had to weave a "Yes?", "Okay" or "How nice" into the dialog every now and then. The green boy hastened to get the sandwich ready because he feared, that he'd run out of topics very soon.

"Here, eat", he said beaming, when he served the sandwich his team companion a few seconds later and sat down towards him. "I hope, it's to your taste."

"Thanks", Robin answered again and reached for the sandwich without even looking at it. Beast Boy observed him tensely, while the boy was chewing at the bread. He didn't even seem to note, that he was eating something. But suddenly Robins jaw stopped and life returned to his face finally. He stared at the sandwich.

"Tofu?", he asked with suffocated voice.

"Yes, dude", Beast Boy beamed with joy. "You wanted to have one desperately."

"Really?", the leader of the Titans mumbled with slightly pressed voice. "Well, serves me right", he whispered so quietly, that Beast Boy couldn't hear him.

„Eat it", Beast Boy noted happily, as he bit into his own sandwich. "You must be completely famished. Have you eaten anything, since you made your way back?"

"No, I... had to think", Robin explained and put the sandwich back on the plate without attracting attention.

"About Starfire?" Now what a brilliant question! About whom else Robin should be thinking right now? But Beast Boy couldn't come up with another question.

"Yes", the black-haired boy answered without even looking up. He supported his chin with both hands and began staring at the water glass again. Beast Boy slowly but surely became concerned about him. Certainly, Robin was a team leader with heart and soul, it was totally understandable, that the loss of a member had deeply hurt him. He had proved several times, that he was ready to victimize himself, if he could protect his companions with this, for example in their fight with Slade, when he had changed sides reluctantly to save the lives of his teammates. That was one of his most admirable traits. To say nothing of the fact, that Robin had had a much closer relationship with Starfire than the rest of the team. The both of them had often been in the city for hours and Robin had patiently explained terran customs to the alien girl. It had been an open secret in the tower, that Robin enjoyed the company of the lively red-head very much. Beast Boy frowned. Or had there maybe been even more between them?

Nevertheless, he could not complete this line of thought, because at this moment Cyborg walked into the room, closely followed by Raven. Both stopped briefly, when they saw Robin sitting at the table, but then their faces relaxed.

"Robin!", Cyborg exclaimed relieved and did a few quick steps towards the table. "Thank god, man, you are home again. When did you come back?"

Beast Boy was surprised, that he had not asked this question himself.

"Just a few hours ago", Robin replied with such a monotonous voice, that Raven lifted an eyebrow. Then she levitated in the kitchen to make tea for everyone.

"Listen, Robin, we haven't found her either, thus stop blaming yourself, okay?", Cyborg tried to calm down his friend, while he sat down beside Beast Boy. "Today we'll look for her again, that's clear, but you mustn't loose yourself in self-pity."

"Self-pity?" Robin scowled. "Who do you actually think I am? The only thing I am worrying about right now, is that Starfire is somewhere out of the tower alone and maybe needs our help!"

"Hey, she can take care of herself pretty well, Robin", Cyborg reminded him. "She isn't quite helpless, you know?"

"Certainly, but..."

"No ,but'!", Beast Boy agreed with Cyborg and banged his fist on the table. "If you don't stop blaming yourself for everything, that happens to one of us, then you'll put on another show like the one with Red X sometime and THAT would be REALLY dumb, dude!"

Robin bit his lip defiantly. "Nevertheless, if I had been just a little bit faster back there in the museum, I could have saved her..."

"If, if, if!" Cyborg was slowly losing his temper, although he tried hard to stay cool. "Many things wouldn't have happened, if we all had done certain things! I, for example, would still be a normal, handsome boy, if I had paid attention and this accident hadn't happened! You should better think of things you can change, Robin, not of things, that have happened long ago!"

"Damn it, you say I'm not even allowed to worry about her?", Robin shouted all at once and jumped on his feet. "Starfire has disappeared right in front of us and all of you act like if this didn't concern you at all!"

"That's not true", Ravens dry voice suddenly sounded out of the kitchen, where she was just pouring hot water in four cups. "Each of us is worrying about her. But we cannot help her, if we continue bickering and accusing each other like kids."

„And why aren't we out searching again then?", Robin wanted to hear. "In every minute we are wasting here something bad could happen to her!"

"Now get a grip on yourself again, dude!", Beast Boy retorted a little bit frightened. He had barely ever seen Robin that furious. "Do you really think that we'd help Star anyhow, if we went out now and die somewhere along the way of hunger? By the way, you still haven't finished your sandwich, man."

"And WE will do nothing, my friend, that's for sure", Cyborg continued the talk. "Cause YOU are looking quite peaky, to put it mildly. I suppose, that you haven't slept a single hour this night. Look, I can't force you, but I think it'd be the best, if you hit the sack for a while now, while we continue to search the city once again."

"Did I get that right? You tell me to stay back here in the tower? You're not serious, aren't you?"

"We're deadly serious, Robin", confirmed Raven, who levitated in with a tablet of tea and some toast. She gave Robin a piercing look. "You are no help for Starfire at all, if you break down in some dark alley. You need to rest, boy. In addition, someone should remain in the tower anyway, an emergency could occure."

"Or Star could arrive here, while we are out", Beast Boy threw in.

In the end, these arguments managed to take the wind out of the sails of the Titans leader. He slumped into a chair and pressed his hand on his face.

"Maybe you're right", he sighed. "Maybe it's better if I first sleep one, two hours, before I continue to search. I'm sorry, that I shouted on you, Cy."

"No problem, Robin", the giant replied generously, while he eagerly swallowed one of Ravens toasts. "But you better don't think, that you'll get out of the tower after sleeping just two hours. You'll kip at least eight hours, you understand? I can hardly believe anyway, that you're still standing on your own feet. Everyone else would have fainted hours ago."

"I had to think about a lot of..."

"Yes, I bet", Raven commented drily. "This is your biggest problem, Robin: If you have enough time to think, you try to blame yourself for everything, even the things you could never have prevented. Listen, you're not the only one who could have held back Starfire. I could still have reached her with my telekinesis, but none of us managed to pull her away from the vortex in time, and do you know why? Because we can't read into the future! None of us is able to react to things, that haven't happened yet!"

"Wow, Rae", Beast Boy gaped amazedly. "That were more than twice as many words, than you utter in a whole week normally." Nevertheless he decided to stop talking, when he caught a warning glance of Cyborg.

"She is completely right, Robin", the taller boy confirmed. "For the moment you should do nothing but relax and rest. Who knows, maybe Star is about to make sense of Warps time control just at this moment. It's quite possible, that she needed a little longer to figure out how to come back. But she will, I promise."

"Nevertheless we'll look for her", Robin replied and got up. "at least I'll do that. Okay, fine, you won, I'll go to sleep for a while. But as soon as I wake up, I'm out again, got that?"

"All right, dude. We know we can't hold you back any longer", Beast Boy declined. "Just buzz off now, okay?"

"And if you find something, just the smallest track, then..."

"Then we'll come back immediately and get you up", an increasingly irritated Cyborg completed the sentence. "BACK OFF, Robin!"

And he turned around and headed for his room. With slow steps, but he did. At the table you could hear no noise, until they were sure, that Robin had really left the room.

"You really think, that he'll sleep eight hours?", Raven asked sceptically.

"If he's too tired to set the alarm clock, then yes", Cyborg ascertained. "If he is pigheaded enough to do it,... then presumably not." He sighed.

"Dudes, we must find Star as soon as possible", Beast Boy recognized. "Or he'll collapse from exhaustion."

_Or worse_, Raven thought. But prudently she didn't say that loud.

* * *

Contrary to what his friends were expecting, Robin didn't fall asleep immediately after he had touched the sheets. Instead he sat down on the edge of the bed and let their fight with Warp pass by in his mind's eye once again. He snarled as he remembered, how easily the villain from the future had managed to parry their combined attacks. Nevertheless he remained focused and continued to analyze every single one of his attacks. He had to have made a mistake, otherwise he'd have been fast enough to save Starfire...

Suddenly he lifted his gloved hand and ran his fingers through his hair. No, he shouldn't get involved with these thoughts! Raven was right, if he went on blaming himself for Starfires disappearance, he'd go crazy in the end. He had to focus his energy to archieve the one goal to bring her back somehow, it was just as simple as that. This perfect stranger Warp could not simply show up and kidnap their friend...

Pictures suddenly flashed up in his mind. Pictures of events, that had taken place today. Blorthog... that was the name of Stars holiday, the festival of friendship. Like a sting in a wound the disappointed face of the tamaranean princess appeared in front of Robins mind's eye, the face in the moment, as her friends had been arguing and bickering and hadn't listened to her. Starfire had to have been looking forward to this day for weeks, and they had ruined everything. They and Warp.

Robin sighed. It was a bitter feeling, when the last thing you had heard from a friend was a telling-off. Of course he was already used to that kind of thing... with Batman and him it had been the same. As their disagreements had become too worse to settle them amicably, Robin had broken with his mentor and had founded his own team... a team of young, idealistic heroes full of potential. From the first day on he had sworn to protect these young heroes, his friends. And now he had failed. Starfire wasn't with them anymore.

He asked himself, why this was hurting so much. As the leader of the Titans he had to contemplate the event every day, that one of them could be injured or killed. He might wish, that such a thing would never happen, but he HAD KNOWN, that it was very well possible. The more their small group had grown closer together, Robin had given more and more in combat, so that the risk of getting hurt was minimized for his teammates. He hadn't wanted to admit to himself for a very long time, that he had gotten a new family.

A single tear appeared on the edge of his white mask. Robin did never cry, well, at least not if he could suppress it, but today it was just too much. Yes, a family. Since the murder of his parents in the circus he had always had this feeling, that a vital part was missing in his life. Indeed, Bruce had done everything in his power to afford a fairly normal life to him beyond his existence as a superhero, but Batman had far too many complexes himself to enter a deep relationship. Alfred, whom Robin still was thinking of as a loving grandfather, had not either been able to help him getting over his lack of friends in the same age.

Until he had left them and the Titans had been born. Cyborg, who had finally found people who didn't get frightened cause of the metallic parts of his body, but regarded them as his present to the team, so that he could feel more than ever at home. Beast Boy, who could be very annoying once in a while, but who was still fully accepted in spite of his appearance and was paying them back their acceptance with good mood and jokes all the time. Raven, enigmatically and secluded, who had been suppressing her feelings already from the beginning because she feared losing control, but who was surrounded by people who knew what it meant to be an outsider - and who thus gave her the feeling, that she didn't have to fight against her unknown demons alone. And Starfire, the fun-loving alien princess, who wanted to learn more about earth so eagerly and who had caused them to laugh more than once... exactly, HAD caused.

Robin clenched the teeth and suppressed his tears. Yes, he had lost a part of his family, a very important part. But he'd rather die than giving her up! They would find Starfire, it was just a matter of time! And then... then he still could apologize to her about not appreciating Blorthog like he and the others should have. Now he knew it better. It seemed like every time something bad had to happen, before something found it's way into his pighead. And that was just another reason not to surrender, to get Starfire home again.

Home...

Suddenly Robin felt all the tiredness he had been pushing away so long overwhelming him. Especially stubborn it seemed to affect his eyelids, thus he lay down and closed his eyes. Once again the picture of the tamaranean princess appeared in front of his mind's eye, where she was standing in front of him with her necklace and her hopeful smile. How strange... why had he actually supposed, that such a nice smile would always be around him? Another reason to save Starfire. He wanted to see her smiling again, when she was just putting her necklace around his neck and announcing Blorthog boisterously. With pursed lips he fell asleep.

* * *

„Azarath... Metrion... Zinthos!"

She had repeated this chant now already a whole dozen times, but for any reason the inner calm, that she had always been feeling while meditating, did not want to arise. And this was not due to the fact, that it was noisy in the Tower. On the contrary it was almost deadly silent in the big building, only sporadic noises from the kitchen managed to reach her ears quite damped. Apparently Beast Boy had a tough time with the cooking. They should not have allowed him at all to prepare the dinner - only god knew, what he would dish them up - but stupidly no one else had volunteered. Cyborg had immediately after they had completed training fled into the garage to polish the T-Car, his method to distract himself.

Raven herself had as usual lately adjourned into her room to meditate, although she had already expected, that this would again turn out dissatisfactory... as usual. Snorting enervatedly she slumped onto her bed. A few weeks ago already she had found out, that this whole situation was putting the bite on her more than usual. Of course she knew, that this stress had been caused by Starfires disappearance. Since the tamaranean girl had disappeared, a subdued mood reigned in the tower. Indeed, Beast Boy and Cyborg tried hard to continue with the normal life, but even they couldn't completely hide, that something was missing. And Robin... well, he tried to support the team too, but it seemed, as if he had lost his smile, since Starfire had disappeared. He was still training hard, maybe even harder than before, and if they got an emergency call, he almost every time was in full cry. But neither when the boys were playing cards nor he was watching these ridiculous video-game-duels of Cyborg and Beast Boy, he showed any sign of the joy and thrill, that had distinguished him in former times.

Raven shuddered. Robin seemed to change more and more into somebody ... like herself. No, even worse actually. She was suppressing her emotions for a good reason, even if the others were nearly clueless about this reason. It seemed to her, that Robin was slowly forgetting, how his emotions were working. And this was bit by bit affecting the morale of the team too. A leader, Raven knew that very well, should own strength and ingenuity. And Robin owned both qualities, no doubt. But even more important was, that a leader served as a shining example for his team, that he could motivate the others and blow on their inner fire, which had been blazing inside of each Teen Titan until now. But since they hadn't been able to find Starfire in three months now, this fire had been decreasing every day.

Raven asked herself, what had possibly weakened the team more... to loose Starfires happiness or Robins qualities as a leader. She laid her hand on her chest. She asked herself, what was harder to bear for herself. The silence, which she could enjoy now during her hours of meditation? The perfect silence, which hadn't been granted to her anymore after Starfire had started to bear Raven company? Indeed, the girl had tried not to disturb Raven, but her lively being had sometimes pushed her to ask curious questions. And the mystic had found out, that she actually liked answering these questions. To school a pupil had granted her another kind of responsibility than keeping her powers under control. It had acted as... kind of a counterbalance, which had supported her mental equilibrium, although she had barely noticed that.

And although she would never admit that loud, Raven had even begun to miss the occasional shopping expeditions in the city. Maybe it was due to the fact that she didn't normally socialize, she just saw poeple, if something was attacking the city. The busy, but peaceful shopping expeditions, the presence so of many people, who mostly didn't want to hurt someone... all that had apparently helped her in keeping up her inner calm. She missed Starfire.

Or was her restlessness due to Robin? Since he had brought together the Titans, Raven had secretly looked up to him, even if she normally distanced herself from her teammates, especially Beast Boy. His steely determination to protect the innocent and his grim self-sacrifice had caused something inside her, from the first day on. She could not exactly describe it, it was as if a tiny part of her had started to believe in some higher justice again thanks to Robins shining example, in defiance of all unpleasant contacts with her father Trigon. He had given her, no, had given the whole team the hope, that everything evil could be defeated.

She compressed her lips angrily, when she reminded all at once Cyborgs question whether she was in love with Robin. What a nonsense! Okay, she had to admit, for a short while she hadn't been sure herself whether this warm feeling, that she had for all Titans, but in particular for Robin, was more than friendship. But she had found out rather fast, that this had just been her unawareness of feelings. Everything she was feeling for Robin was just deep, pure gratitude, that he helped her to carry her burden as best as he could, just by his example, his respect for her secrets and his determination to do everything to save a team member. Raven smiled briefly, but then she became serious again. Yes, she understood, why she had felt attracted to Robin, but if his inner fire completely went out... what would become of him then? What would become of the Titans then? And of her?

The girl cursed, when she noticed, that a book had flown out of her bookcase thanks to her powers. She quickly tamed the dark forcefields and disbanded them, the book fell on the ground. Raven rose, picked it up and put it into the bookcase again. She was concerned. This constant tension in the tower gave her no chance to relax. She had to do something against that subdued mood, otherwise her powers would get beyond control. At the moment it was no problem to regain control again..., but who knew, how long this would last?

She decided to go to the kitchen. Maybe she could save at least a part of the dinner, if she helped Beast Boy preparing. Maybe that was even a first step to relieve some of this tension. It was about time anyway, that somebody did something actually. Starfire had disappeared three months ago. It was hard without a doubt for everyone of them, but at one time or another they had to move on or the team would break apart. Raven would never have thought, that she would sometime help Beast Boy cooking voluntarily, but even small, invisible signals were able to create bonds between people - as Robin had shown her.

Raven noted, that she had become dependent. She depended on her friends.

* * *


	3. Blorthog

**Time can't heal all wounds**

The Teen Titans don't belong to me (I guess they wouldn't like me, when I think of all the problems I'm causing in this story...)

* * *

_Chapter 3: Blorthog_

"Robin! Look out!"

Eyes widening of fear, Cyborg could only stand there unmoving and staring at the leader of the Titans, who was looking slightly irritated at the car, that was hurtling towards him with high speed. He didn't even seem to realize this menacing danger!

Only moments before the heavy vehicle could reach Robin, it was suddenly wrapped up by black energy and deflected, missing him just by a hair's breadth. Cyborg shot a glance at Raven, who seemed to be alarmed likewise – she was keeping a straight face as ever, no sign of emotions, but her wide, terrified eyes glowing under her hood told him everything he had to know. At least this was enough distraction to bring their team leader around. He suddenly tensed and a moment later he started a risky obstacle course through the battlefield, which Cinderblock had created by crashing a few houses during their fight.

Indeed, the stone monster was already pretty weakened, because their fight had lasted nearly twenty minutes, but that wasn't enough to keep it from hurling further street decoration like cars, lanterns and asphalt at Robin. Cyborg and Raven did their best to support their companion by attacking Cinderblock from two different directions, and when Robin took a final sprint before jumping at the stone giant, Beast Boy intervened. An enormous green gorilla suddenly grabbed Cinderblock's arms from behind and managed to hold them, until Robin planted his foot squarely on the monster's face with a vengeance.

Beast Boy changed into a fly and cleared off as fast as he could, when the giant started staggering. In the end Cinderblock bellylanded on the badly damaged street with an ear-deafening crash. Everyone sighed with relief after that knockout victory.

"Dude, today he's been rather hard on us", commented Beast Boy after he had shifted into his human form again. "It seems to me, that this giant baby has been eating concentrate all the time."

So he had finally said, what everyone of them had been wondering about. But Cyborg knew better. Cinderblock wasn't any stronger than in the past, if he had been, he would have caused much more damage. The team was simply lacking something.

"Everything alright, Robin?", he asked his friend, who was coming back to him scowling. Well, this was actually nothing out of the ordinary, apart from Raven Robin was the most serious member of their team by far, and in a fight he sometimes even managed to surpass the girl in terms of wholeheartedness. They all felt in duty bound to hunt down criminals and protect innocent people, but Cyborg supposed, that their work meant even more to Robin... for him it was a sacred duty, a life task. Robin had never told them anything about his past, the time before the foundation of the Teen Titans, but his character seemed to be stamped by the events of his childhood. That Robin had been distracted today in the heat of battle, was troubling Cyborg. This had never happened before – never!

"Yes, everything's fine", the Boy Wonder hissed and passed Cyborg hastily, trying hard to avoid the worried glances Cyborg was darting at him.

"This car would have nearly caused your death, Robin", Raven raised her stern voice above them. The mystic was floating above the T-Car and gazed at the black-haired boy with shrewd eyes. "And normally you would have had no problem dodging it."

"Do you wanna say I didn't give everything I've got?", Robin snapped at her and clenched his fists.

"Robin, please don't take this personally, but Raven's right", Cyborg said hesitant, making sure that he stayed out of his teammate's reach. Robin was in a nasty mood and he didn't know, what kind of things the martial arts expert would do to him, if he provoked him to anger. "You MUST get over it or you'll further endanger yourself."

„Get over it? What should I get over exactly?" Robin's fists were clenched and he bared his teeth when he turned to Cyborg. He was apparently asking for trouble.

"The disappearance of Starfire", Raven answered. Cyborg was grateful for that. She was most suitable to cope with their leader. "If you still refuse admitting, that you have been distraught back there because of her, then you'll make a fool of yourself."

"Don't talk rubbish! I did just see the car too late!"

"No, you didn't, Robin", Beast Boy argued and got a little closer. The shapeshifter scratched his head nervously. "Please don't flip out, but it's not the first time you've been distraught during a fight. This time it had just been really dangerous. Since Star disappeared, you have changed a lot, dude."

For just a moment, it seemed like Robin still refused believing the truth, but then he luckily changed his mind. "That... won't happen again."

"Robin, we don't want any excuses from you", Cyborg answered and came a step closer. "We only want to help you. It's quite plain to me, that you can't forget Starfire - none of us can, least of all in combat. But it happened more than one year ago now, for God's sake, and you still haven't got over it, Robin."

"I will make it, okay?", Robin hissed. "What do you want from me next? That I simply continue my life, as if nothing had happened?"

"This is the burden a leader must carry, yes ", confirmed Raven coldly and landed next to the car. "Never to loose sight of his vision and to continue his way in spite of all losses."

"In spite of all losses!" Robin laughed, a sardonic laugh. "You're sounding as if a weapon had broken! Is that everything Starfire has meant to you, Raven, a weapon?"

"Now get a grip immediately, Robin!", Beast Boy exclaimed angrily, while Raven was narrowing her eyes. "You know exactly well, that this isn't true! All Raven noted was that we simply aren't capable of bringing back Starfire. And therefore we must continue as best as we just can without her. That DOESN'T mean, that we wonna forget her, Robin, but the Teen Titans have to work without her too."

"Yes, that's what everyone expects from us, right?" Cyborg noticed anxiously the self-hatred content in Robin's voice. "That we continue doing our duty and tracking down criminals. Whether Starfire is with us or not, isn't of any importance to anyone, as long as the Titans are still protecting the city..."

Cyborg took a fast step forward, grabbed the smaller boys shoulders and yanked him closer, their faces nearly touching. "Now listen carefully", he growled with great restraint. "Do you actually know what you are talking about? You're talking of us, as if you didn't even want to be a part of this team anymore! As if the Titans had died with Starfires disappearance! Do you really think, Star would want you to let yourself go and endanger yourself?"

For one moment he was afraid, that Robin would roar and start kicking him, but this dangerous moment passed and Robin's strength left his body. He hung his head and whispered: "It's okay, Cy. Put me down again. I... I'm okay now."

Though Cyborg wasn't really convinced yet, he nevertheless put his friend down carefully. "Okay", he mumbled and tapped Robin on the shoulder. "I'm sorry that I had to be so rude, but nothing else would have helped."

"No, no, never mind, Cy, it's okay", Robin muttered and brushed his black hair back nervously. "You were right. I'm the leader. I shouldn't be the one reacting that way."

"Hey, don't crucify yourself, dude", came the reply of Beast Boy, who was grinning again. "We know that Star meant a lot to you. Everybody has the right sometimes to freak out."

Robin nodded merely and turned to the T-Car. Beast Boy and Cyborg followed him after they had thrown a concerned look to each other. Just as Robin wanted to get into the T-Car, he felt a firm grip on his arm. Raven's grip.

"Robin, are you sure you can get over it?", she whispered so quietly, that the others couldn't hear her. "If you ever need any help... we maybe could meditate together... or just speak..."

Robin's mask twitched briefly, but then he pushed away Raven's arm. "Thanks", he whispered just as quietly. "I appreciate your offer, Raven. But as you said earlier, I am the leader. I must deal with my problems myself or I'll weaken the team. I'll make it."

For another moment the girl seemed willing to contradict him, but then she left it at a concerned look, before she turned around and got into the car. In silence Robin sat down on the back seat too. The ride went silently... like many other things since Starfire's disappearance. Not for the first time Cyborg asked himself, if Warp had succeeded in doing the one thing so many rogues had tried unavailingly... ripping into the heart of the Titans.

* * *

Beast Boy hummed, getting other ingredients from the fridge and adding them to his mixture. This time, he was quite sure of that, no one of the Titans would even pretend liking his meal..., but that wasn't his intention at all this time. Exactly on this day three years ago Starfire had disappeared and their situation had normalized to some degree. Even Robin had managed to get over his shock obviously, because he was talking with his friends and spending time with them in the common room again, even if he was still spending a lot of time in his room alone. At least, the situation was better than in their first year after Star's disappearance. After all Robin had learned to smile again, although he didn't show it very often. However, he hadn't seen a hearty laugh of Robin since that... event. Beast Boy highly doubted that Robin would ever laugh again.

Nevertheless, he and the others were highly pleased, that the leader of the Titans hadn't gone into his shell completely. He was fighting as focused as ever, even if Beast Boy had the feeling that Robin wasn't always giving everything he'd got. But at least he wasn't endangering himself anymore, and that was the main thing.

However, no one had been mentioning Starfire to him during the last two years. Beast Boy didn't believe that was right. He was not silly. Each of the other Titans had noticed the small signals Robin and Starfire had been sending towards each other... the both had been nuts about each other, and everybody except them had noticed this. It was a pity, that they had had no time to find out.

Anyway Beast Boy had decided to give the others a surprise today. Today three years ago Starfire had explained the concept of this Blo... Blorth ... tamaranean party of friendship to them and exactly that festival he intended to celebrate. He had repaired the necklaces of friendship Starfire had made and right now he was about to prepare her infamous pudding of friendship. He had once made the mistake to watch her cooking some tamaranean delicacy. He had supposed back then, that his stomach would calm down eventually, when he saw the ingredients Star was using. Oh, he had been wrong!

But that didn't matter now. For the sake of Star and in memory of her alone the others had no choice but at least trying the pudding. Then they'd put on the necklaces and spend the evening chatting and relaxing. Beast Boy deemed that best for all of them. And Robin would notice, that they had not forgotten Starfire.

He looked at the clock. The others would come downstairs in a few minutes. Beast Boy grinned. This was going to be a real surprise. He watched the pudding and noticed with satisfaction (even though his stomach was of another opinion) that it was almost ready to serve. Impatiently he waited, until it had cooled down a bit, then he put the nauseating mass into a bowl and carried it to the table carefully. Immediately after that he heard steps on the stairs. In a hurry he hid behind the sofa, waiting for surprised gasps.

Before somebody could ask something, he leaped out of his hiding place and shouted: "HAPPY BLORT-HOG!"

The faces of Cyborg and Raven were priceless, only Robin was still staring at the pudding as if he hadn't heard Beast Boy at all. Nevertheless the shapeshifter wasn't bothered by that in the least, took out the necklaces and put them onto his friends' necks, before someone could utter a word of protest.

"Sit down, guys! To mark this glorious occasion I've made the pudding of friendship, according to an original tamaranean recipe!"

Cyborg stared at him with gaping mouth, but he decided to say nothing, when Raven elbowed him into his belly. She briefly screwed her mouth, because she had forgotten his metallic constitution.

"Original recipe?", she asked cautiously. "What's that?"

"Uuh, Star let out this secret once, when I had to play taster for her", the shapeshifter answered grinning. "At that time I wasn't really keen on it."

"I bet you weren't", Cyborg mumbled. He rested his hand on Robin's shoulder and asked him: "Is everything okay, man?"

Robin pulled himself up visibly. But he only brought about a constrained smile. "Yeah, yeah, all right", he said a little bit agitated. "I was just a little bit surprised..."

"You wanna stay there the whole evening?", asked Beast Boy impatiently. "Come on, sit down. The pudding's getting cold."

"Ah? And cold it doesn't taste good anymore, do you mean that?", was Raven's vicious comment. Her eyes however were still directed upon Robin. She searched carefully, but up to now he had revealed no signs that he wanted to run away.

"Don't know. I tried the stuff only once as a taster at that time, but I decided not to wait until it was cooled down."

"Sounds quite wise to me", remarked Cyborg sitting down towards Robin. He kept an eye on the black-haired boy too, even if he started to relax now. Robin had obviously been caught off guard, but at least he didn't run away. Maybe this evening would turn out quite nice in spite of the pudding. "Did you... maybe buy something to detoxicate this stuff?"

"Yes, I'd like to have tamaranean table water, please", Robin ordered gazing at the pudding distrustfully. "But please without the living content."

For a moment there was complete silence in the room, then Beast Boy started to laugh and Cyborg joined in shortly afterwards. Only Raven did not stop observing Robin out of the shadows of her hood.

"Good one, man", Beast Boy snorted and reappeared with an enormous bottle of lemonade, three glasses and a steaming cup. "Here you are. A cup of tea for the lady and something hard for the men."

Raven's eyebrow twitched, but she took one test nip of her tea and had to recognize that it was rather enjoyable. Beast Boy had to have practiced. "...Thanks", she muttered finally.

"When did this idea come into your green mind, Beast Boy?", Cyborg asked, while he allowed his friend to fill his glass with lemonade. "Honestly, I have noticed nothing at all."

"Well, actually... I have been planning something like this for a rather long time. I..." He threw a nervous look at Robin. "... just didn't know how you'd react."

"Don't worry, Beast Boy", Robin replied after a short pause. "It... doesn't matter. You took me entirely by surprise, that's for sure." He tried to flash a smile once again and this time he was even successful.

"Superb! Shall we start eating the pudding then?"

"Uuuh ... I would actually prefer waiting a little bit longer..."

While Cyborg and Beast Boy were delving into their verbal dispute, which also included, how many pains Beast Boy had taken to make this fine pudding and what ingredients were possibly dangerous on an empty stomach, Robin suddenly felt something touch his clenched hand under the table. He shot a surprised glance at Raven, who was still eying him with an uninterpretable expression on her face. She gave his hand a squeeze and all of a sudden he seemed to hear a voice in his head. Maybe...

_Be strong, Robin. And don't be too proud to accept our help._

He nodded subtly and relaxed his fist, whereupon Raven pulled back her hand and focused her mind on the ongoing conversation on the other side of the table. The quarrel had gone so far, that Beast Boy was momentarily trying to push a spoon of pudding into Cyborg's mouth, who in turn was trying to prevent that with all his might. After a short hand to hand fight the glutinous chunk of pudding landed on Ravens cape... and instantly everyone froze in motion. Raven's eyes shimmered in the darkness under her hood and nobody knew, if that meant only pain or worse. Then she reached for the piece of pudding with her fingertips, led it slowly to her mouth and chewed it. Everyone stopped breathing.

"Now, Beast Boy ...", she said at last, in a slow, deep voice. "I think, you got the horrific taste of this pudding about right."

Three male jaws dropped, and a faint smile played on Raven's lips. Then Robin and Cyborg chuckled slightly, but Beast Boy freaked completely out.

"Raven, you have permitted yourself to crack a joke! You have permitted yourself joking around in front of three witnesses!" Tears rolled down his cheeks. "Oh, now I HAVE TO embrace you."

"Don't even dare thinking about that!", the sorceress warned him, her eyes flashing, and got up. "I'll leave you silly-billies alone for a while." She looked at her cape. "I must change my clothes. Don't leave over too much of this pudding for me."

Beast Boy's and Cyborg's laughter decreased gradually, but Robin was already staring at the pudding again. Cyborg noticed the danger and shoveled a handful of pudding on his plate quickly. Then he dumped a part of the mass in front of Robin too.

"Come on, man", he said grinning. "If Raven lets herself go voluntarily in front of us, we can't possibly stand back, can we? Nevertheless, I say that the Teen Titans won't flinch from eating a little bit of pudding!"

"Of course not!", Beast Boy shouted enthusiastically and indulged himself in the so far largest helping of the substance. You had to admire his willingness to take risks. "Go ahead! Enjoy the meal!"

"Don't push too hard!", Robin warned him with a constrained laugh, while he was picking at his pudding with his spoon cautiously.

"Yeah, as he says", Cyborg agreed to Robin. He withstood the temptation to scan the pudding with his sensors. He was too much afraid of the result.

"Anyway. HAPPY BLORT-HOG!"

"It's called Blorthog, stupe!"

"Yes, happy... Blorthog."

With this last word all happiness had left Robin again. He seemed like someone, who was remembering displeasing events. Beast Boy gave him a piercing look. He opened his mouth to crack a joke to jolt the team leader out of his daydreams, when Robin suddenly took a deep breath and swallowed a whole spoonful of his pudding!

He managed to keep a straight face for an admirably long time, but as the taste of the pudding hit his poor taste buds with full force, he coughed loudly, brought his glass to his mouth instantly and dashed it down in a few seconds. Then he took a very deep breath.

"Well it... tastes very familiar", he spat out at last. THAT was easy to belief. Because Beast Boy had fled at that time, the others had been forced to eat Starfire's pudding. Fortunately she had prepared only a small serving.

"Yes, this is true valor", Cyborg commented with just a hint of sarcasm. Then he braced himself visibly and ate a spoonful of pudding too. His reaction after this heroic act was very much alike to Robin's reaction, but he made much funnier grimaces.

"You are the best, dudes!", Beast Boy shouted out laughing. "I knew you'd like it!"

The glances Robin and Cyborg were throwing at him were full of hysteria. Because he had to fear, that they would lunge at him if he didn't try a piece of the pudding too, he opened his mouth resignedly and champed a big bit of it. Right after that he felt his stomach handing in his resignation while his brain was busy denying the horrible taste. Just a very big gulp of lemonade was able to convince the stomach otherwise.

"Have I missed something important?", a dark voice asked from the door, as Raven came in. However, even she seemed to be amused at the faces of her friends. She took a seat next to Robin again and studied the miens of the boys very interested.

"No, actually not", Cyborg answered and threw a disgusted look at his plate. "You'll be able to enjoy the same sight very soon again."

"But before that happens", Robin intervened and rose, "I would like to propose a toast." He raised his almost empty glass. "A toast on the person, who is the cause of this rather unusual dinner... and who would surely be glad, if she could see us today." Because he was nearly feeling the concerned looks of his friends, he kept a straight face with all his might. "A toast to Starfire!"

"To Starfire!", Beast Boy shouted, jumped on his feet and raised his glass. "The only person who could get us to eat this pudding!"

"To Starfire!", Cyborg joined in a little bit less boisterously and raised his glass too. "Who taught us not to take friendship for granted!"

After some very silent seconds Raven forced herself to raise her cup and to get up too - reluctantly. "To Starfire!", she added quietly. "Who has enlightened this tower more than everything else."

It was a very touching moment the four were sharing. Beast Boy was feeling really happy for the first time since Starfires disappearance. It seemed like the girl was among them in this moment and smiled at them.

But moments pass and this one did too. Nonetheless it became a very nice evening. Although Raven seemed to have exhausted her talkativeness for now, she didn't return to her room, but stayed with her friends, who were still exchanging memories for quite some time, primarily memories of Starfire. Well, mainly Cyborg and Beast Boy were the spokesmen, Robin did only comment a sentence every now and then, if it was too imprecise in his view. It was remarkable, how many details he had stored in his mind.

It was quite late, when the four at last decided to go to bed. Beast Boy slumped into his bed and complimented himself on this wonderful party. Cyborg went recharging his batteries thinking, that he had felt some team spirit again tonight. Raven put on one of her rare smiles once she had closed the door of her room. For the first time in years she was feeling inner harmony again. But Robin was feeling nothing like that. When he closed the door of his room, Robin felt something breaking loose, what he had buried in his mind with pain and misery a long time ago: memories.

* * *

What do you think of this last part? Is it too trashy?

Do you have any other notes for me?


	4. Memories

**Time can't heal all wounds**

Disclaimer: No, they're still not mine. That's why I can't sell this fanfic.

Blufirestar: Not a bad idea. I guess that'll shorten the time to translate a chapter.

All: Sorry that I let you wait, I had to write a lot of things at university. I'll try to update soon.

* * *

_Chapter 4: Memories_

_"Robin! Why didn't the man unfreeze this cold, sweet stuff?"_

_"That is ice cream, Starfire. It has to be cold, otherwise it would melt and ruin your clothes."_

Robin held his eyes closed behind the mask, while he was sitting in his darkened room on his bed and allowed his thoughts to wander. A smile was playing on his lips, although he knew, that this happiness would vanish soon, maybe for good. But right now that made no difference to him, because the thoughts he was thinking were good thoughts, the moments of his life, which he had enjoyed most. Now he wished, that he had appreciated them at that time. Maybe he would be happier now, if he had.

_"Robin, why did this man whistle at me, when we passed by? Is something wrong with me?"_

_"Quite the contrary, Star, quite the contrary..."_

A short, subdued laughter escaped the superhero's mouth, when he remembered this scene. After her question he had had to explain to Star, why some men did wolf-whistle at good-looking young ladies. He remembered, that it had been rather difficult for him to find the right words, to tell her why the guy had selected Star of all people. In the end the last straw had been, when she still hadn't understood the thing after some minutes.

"Damn it, you are beautiful, Starfire! Thus he whistled at you!"

He had flushed as he had realized, what he had just said..., but it had surprised him even more, that Starfire had blushed more deeply than him.

Robin's smile disappeared instantly. Why was he remembering that scene? He had shared much more pleasant moments with her, much more amusing ones. This... gaffe had been so embarassing, even thinking of it caused him to blush again. He and Star had been avoiding each other for two whole days after that, because always when they had met, one of them had reddened.

On the other hand... it had to have been pretty amusing for their teammates.

Robin sighed. He was aware of the fact, that he had experienced a very nice evening, but right now a part of him urged him to wake Beast Boy and beat him up, because he had conjured up all the memories, which should have stayed closed forever. He knew that the shapeshifter had meant no harm and Robin appreciated even his approach, which had been so so much alike to Starfire's. He was not angry at him, if only for the fact, that the others had had a whale of a time, even Raven. The tower had lacked something like this party.

But the curative effect had walked past him - and he did not doubt, that Beast Boy had catered the party mainly for him. Of course, every memory of Starfire he had stored in his mind was a memory worth storing. Three years ago already he had found out rather surprised, that he even enjoyed remembering the very rare quarrels between them, because the reconciliation afterwards had been the nicer - and the more vehement, when she had decided he had earned a hug. But with every memory passing by a part of the pain woke up too.

Robin knew that he couldn't force back these feelings any longer, but still he refused to let go this sweet moments of joy. He observed Star protecting him in the heat of battle and himself catching her, when a villain had hit her. He saw them both sitting on the rooftop of the T-tower, watching the sundown and speaking of the problems the Titans had to confront. He gloated over the delighted expression on her face, when they had gone shopping, even if Raven had assumed this duty more and more lately... what had seemed quite funny to him anyway.

How strange... why couldn't he remember all the situations, when Star had been a nuisance to him cause of her neverending questions, when he had wished her back on her home planet? When he had been completely lost in an investigation and she had suddenly appeared behind him and had frightened him? Maybe because it had been a part of her charmingness, that she had wanted to bear a hand to everybody, even when she had had no conception of the thing to do. Robin snorted. Detective's work and scientific methods of investigations... they really hadn't been her specialty! But she had had strong points too...

Robin had acquired his extensive knowledge concerning manhunt from the best. Batman had enabled him to become the Boy Wonder he was today. The dark knight had taught him to search for his enemies weak points in order to hit them as hard as he could. He had taught him how to eliminate every opponent as fast as possible... okay, almost every opponent. But above all he had taught him to lead a solitary life... the art of mistrust.

The Titans hadn't been able to break the ice completely. In the beginning Robin had been as secretive as Raven, he hadn't allowed anyone to invade his privacy. Only when Starfire had complained to him repeatedly, that didn't understand the Earth's customs, he had agreed to help her. At that time he had only agreed, because he hadn't wanted her to break in on his work at an inconvenient time, but after some trips into the city with her he had realized, that he felt... better when she was around him. Her lively way of absorbing knowledge contrasted strongly with his diffident manner, but bit by bit she had begun to have effect on him. Slowly. Here a hearty laugh, there a friendly handshake. But at last the ice had melted.

_My sun_, Robin thought. _My Star...fire..._

What happened to a planet whose sun was collapsing?

_"Friend Robin, what does it mean, when a boy asks a girl whether she wants to "go out" with him?"_

_"That means, that the boy wants to see the girl more often. He wants to spend as much time as possible with her."_

_"Ah"_. Starfire had thought for a moment and then had started grinning. _"Will you "go out" with me, friend Robin?"_

At that time his breath had caught. Star had only just joined the Teen Titans and had still known precious little about this world. He had blushed deeply and then had tried to explain to her, what two teenagers were keeping at the back of their mind, when they went out with each other. Then SHE had started to blush and had apologized profusely. Robin had been SO glad that no other titan had been there.

Even today he knew exactly well, how she had looked like when asking this question. She had been smiling from ear to ear, he had nearly feared, that she'd swallow them! Her hands had been laying on her knees and she had leaned forward a bit. Her red hair had been draping over her left shoulder like a velvet curtain, framing her face naturally. And her green eyes had looked at him with a mixture of childish curiosity, strenuous appeal and nameless joy. Robin's mouth became dry.

_An angel_, he thought. _Only an angel can put such a question so innocently._

For a few seconds Robin was completely lost in thoughts, then he asked himself whether the others knew already, what was dawning on him right now. Very likely. If they hadn't noticed yet, then they were incredibly bad observers. He cut a grimace. But who was he to condemn them? He had been the one, who had spent more time with Starfire than every other teammate and he hadn't realized. Maybe he had refused to believe it.

"I miss you, Starfire... so much...", he whispered into the darkness water-eyed. He let it happen, but he took off the mask. He didn't move, when the first drops started falling on his bed. There was something he had to say. Something important.

The grief was returning, suppressing it for two whole years hadn't been enough to release him from this pain or at least to allay it. On the contrary, the sweet ease he had felt until now was replaced by a black cyclone in his mind, which sucked in this warm and fuzzy feeling. He had to say it, he knew. Otherwise the pain would grow. But it was difficult. After all these years being a superhero he had seen too much to still believe... to believe, that it would be granted to him to say such words one day. Although he had a lump in his throat, his tone remained soft.

"I love you, Starfire..."

* * *

Raven sank back onto her bed heaving a sigh of frustration. What she had been afraid of for weeks, had really taken place. Since this ill-fated evening the interferences had returned. But they were of another nature than before. In the first year after Starfire's disappearance the depressive thoughts had reached her mind from everywhere inside the tower, now they were working on her head from one specific direction. And she knew exactly which direction that was.

She frowned. Oddly enough not only grief and self-hatred were radiating from Robin's room. He seemed to be torn in halves between these and... other feelings, although he tried hard to hide both sides from his friends. Sometimes when he was staying in his room, the pain he endured changed into a strange, soft feeling, as if the pain would be merely the small side effect of a precious memory... bittersweet pain as they said. This constant change of feelings was throwing Raven into confusion. It was obvious that Robin was still mourning for Starfire... but he seemed to have remembered some comforting memories too.

The girl cursed Beast Boy and his ideas. If he had not organized this Blorthog-festival, Robin would not have gotten into this whirlpool of feelings again! Okay, maybe he would have after all, but not so drastically. She knew that the shapeshifter had meant well, but if Robin wasn't able to get a grip on himself again, it had caused more damage than it had helped. Then such mistakes like the one against Cinderblock would happen again...

Raven pushed this thought aside. She wasn't going to let THAT happen ever again. Even in her mind her emotions were starting to stir once again cause of Robin's mood swings. She could literally hear their discussion, she didn't even need to go through the mirror-portal to check her inner harmony. Happy announced cheerfully that Robin was of strong character and that Raven should trust her teammates. Bravery added that he had been victorious in all his battles until now. Wisdom threw in that it was difficult to win a battle all alone, to say nothing of the danger. Timid whispered to her that they would loose him, if things went on like this. And Rage objected that it was about time to take the place of this fool as the leader of the Titans...

She shook her head. As if she hadn't enough problems already! She had to get herself under control as quickly as possible! During the last few days her powers had caused some minor damage over and over again while she had been meditating. Once one of her books had merely been moved a few inches, another time something had fallen down and once her lamp had exploded. Raven knew the signs. And she knew what she had to do.

Two minutes later the mystic stood in front of Robin's (of course closed) door. She looked around. She didn't want Cyborg and Beast Boy to hear this conversation. If the worst came to the worst, they'd start to mistrust her and even at best she'd be forced to tell them of her problem. Thanks, but no thanks to both possibilities. But she didn't see or hear anyone nearby, so she knocked at the metal door. For some moments she was surrounded by almost complete silence and she considered already searching for Robin with her powers, when the boy announced himself.

"Who is there?"

"Raven", she answered coolly. "We must talk."

A break. "Is that really necessary?"

"Are you suffering from depressions again, Robin?", she requested harshly. "It is very important."

She heard him getting up and a few seconds later the door was opened. He was wearing civilian clothes which was a rather strange thing, because basically they could receive an emergency call any time, but that was the least of her worries right now. At least he had put on his inevitable mask. Raven didn't think that anyone of their team had ever seen or would ever see Robin's eyes.

"What do you wanna talk about?", Robin asked her in a rather bad mood. She seemed to have disturbed him in a very private situation. Well, she was there because of those situations.

"About you", she replied. "Among other things. Don't you wanna ask me to come in?"

No, he didn't, that was for sure. Robin's room was nearly as close to a sanctuary as her own room. Okay, Robin wouldn't throw down the gauntlet, if a Titan dared to enter his room, but entering his private sphere without permission would have been a betrayal of his trust. The conversations concerning certain team members had mostly taken place in their rooms. On the other hand, Robin himself had needed such a conversation only once, right after the cause with Red X, when Starfire had volunteered to speak with him...

Then he made a quick sweep of the hand and pointed into the room. "Come in".

She entered the room looking around out of curiosity. She had already visited Starfire's room and she had also entered the room of Cyborg a few times to deliver a message. But Robin was the only one of the Titans, who hadn't been in HER room yet... the only one, who did really understand how important her privacy was to her. Thus she had always respected his sanctum too. Anyhow, the room did remind her of her own. Indeed, it was a little more untidy and crammed with all sorts of technical bits and pieces, for which she had no use, but the room was even more gloomy than hers. For any reason Robin loved the darkness.

_A cave_, she thought. _This is a cave!_

"Okay, you're in", Robin interrupted her thoughts indignantly, while he closed the door behind her. "What do you want? I don't have endless time!"

Raven turned round and took off her hood. She gave him a long, hard look. He resisted her gaze. "But you have enough time to think of Starfire in here all day long?"

Robins face hardened. "Starfire is gone."

"Not in your head", Raven replied calmly. She wasn't allowed to lose control of the situation now. "Since this Blorthog-party you're all churned up inside, like you have been in the first year after Starfire's disappearance. Your thoughts are so full of emotion, that I was able to feel them everywhere in the Tower."

"So you want me to clear off every time, when I want to remember her?", Robin asked quick-tempered. "Sorry, but I guess, I would never get out of running then!"

"Robin, that's not the point", Raven stated firmly and sat down on a chair. "Don't you remember, what happened the last time when you have been that... obsessed with her? You would have nearly died."

"Obsessed? So that's how you call me." Robin laughed. A quiet, humorless laugh.

"Don't try to change the subject, Robin, please", she requested and closed her eyes, because her growing anger made her powers look for a way out of her body. A screw on Robin's table started to tremble. "If you don't get your emotions under control soon, you're going to endanger the team!"

"Why?", the boy asked distrustfully. "I don't think that Beast Boy and Cyborg would be disturbed in combat by my thoughts."

"Maybe not now", Raven admitted. "But your memories will get more and more powerful in your mind, the more often you think of them. They are painful and comforting at the same time, and thus they are so tempting. They were the reason why you have been distracted during our fight with Cinderblock. Look at me and tell me, that you won't be distracted in our next fight!"

Her gaze was that intense, Robin couldn't sustain this time. When he cast his eyes down, he seemed to give in. "I told you, I'll... make it."

"Maybe. But I know best, how difficult suppressing your feelings can be. It requires great concentration... and practice." She got up and approached the boy. He looked like a partly tamed animal, which knew that it was cornered. Raven knew exactly how to deal with such a case. You had to calm it down first. "Robin, let me help you. Let me teach you how to meditate."

"Why are you offering me your help?", Robin wanted to know, but this time his voice didn't sound angry anymore. He seemed to be really interested. "If it's true what you say, you are already pretty busy with taming your powers."

"That's right. But because you are the cause of my restlessness, I'm gonna profit from helping you getting your emotions under control."

"And this is the only reason, huh?" Raven felt a wave of bitterness, that crashed against the shore of her mind. She had raised his hopes... hopes, that there was still somebody who needed him... who was worrying about him. Now he was thinking, that all hope was lost. He was about to turn away from her, when Raven seized his wrist. She bit her tongue nervously. She could hardly bring herself to say, what she had to say now.

"No, this is not the only reason", she answered quietly. "The other reason is... that we need you, Robin. I... need you."

She registered his shock, followed by surprise.

"Not like _that_", she added in a hurry. "I am not in love with you!" She could almost _feel_ Happy's disappointed face inside her mind. But at least Wisdom was smiling knowingly. "But... since I joined the Titans... I have attained greater control of my powers. The time with you, your acceptance although you knew nothing about me, that made it possible for me to let out at least glimpses of my feelings, like occasional smiles, without getting out of control immediately."

Robin stayed quiet. He knew, that this admission was incredibly hard on Raven. She had always been the cool thinker, who had never left herself wide open. Hearing her admission was causing a warm feeling in his belly. He was needed. Raven took a deep breath.

"As Starfire disappeared... my dismay about that was so enormous, that my powers went berserk several times. It took month, until I finally managed to get them under control again, and this was due to the fact too, that you have been beside you with grief the whole time." She looked towards him. He saw pride and reason fighting in her eyes. "Robin, I don't think you know, how much the Teen Titans need you. You are an endowed leader, you're making circumspect decisions, but above all you are a shining example." She swallowed. "Your... determination, your striving for justice has inspired the team right from the start. And to me you have ever been a symbol of stability... stability in a chaotic world, which is provoking my emotions constantly... just because you were... yourself."

Robin had believed, that this dialog couldn't possibly get any stranger from now on, but he had been wrong. While he was standing there dumbfounded, Raven lowered her head. When she raised it again, her eyes had become moist. On a sudden impulse Robin made a step forward and embraced her. Every other girl would have probably started crying in this moment, but this was Raven, after all. These two tears remained her only ones. She did nothing to end the embrace, however, and Robin began to wonder, whether this was really Raven. Raven started wondering too.

"Help me, Robin", she whispered and laid her head on his shoulder, like a younger sister would do. _Family_, Robin thought once again. _I have got a family._ "Be strong for me. Help me... please."

"I'll help you", the boy whispered and tried to be a shining example of hope, like the boy Raven had portrayed. _And I hope that you can help me too._ Because he was sure that not even years of meditation would be enough to erase Starfire's image from his mind. But as long as there was a chance of fixing his troubled mind, of keeping the team alive even without her, he would continue. No matter what.

* * *

Too many grammar mistakes? What kind of mistakes? Charas OOC (who of you expected the two birdies to kiss in this last sub-chapter?) Any other things (maybe even positive) you wanna tell me? I'm waiting for your reviews. 


	5. Rage

**The time can't heal all wounds**

Disclaimer: Why do you intend to tear my heart to pieces? Neither the series nor the characters belong to me, okay?

I was really confused, that Sladedidn't take over Jump City in the future, when the Titans had been disbanded. I saw two possibilities: Either he wasn't interested in a city without worthy opponents anymore, or he was defeated by someone. So I thought, I had to write about Slade's fate first, before I could focus on the Titans.

* * *

_Chapter 5: Rage_

Robin clenched his teeth when a laser missed him by only a hair's breadth. Two seconds later the robot, who had fired the poor shot, laid on the ground destroyed, while Robin ducked fast as a lightening and executed a leg sweep, which threw off the second robot's balance. After one final kick with his steel-toe combat boots this one went on the rocks too and his artificial eye flickered and went out. In a hurry Robin looked around.

They seemed to have the situation under control. Beast Boy amused himself with three robots, slipping through their feet as a mouse and felling them with his tail as a crocodile. The obligatory elephant a moment later crushed the creatures. Cyborg kept some of them at arm's length with his sonic cannon, being anxious not to be hit by a laser beam. Fortunately, Raven kept away most of the beams from her teammates with her telekinetic powers. The witch was standing behind the combat zone and intervened only now and then, when no one of them was in danger. Robin nodded. Yes, the team was working again. A little more cautiously than in their past, because they were just lacking attack strength, but still very effectively.

The boy turned around. But these robots weren't the problem here. They had appeared like a bolt from the blue and the strangest thing was that they hadn't attacked anybody. Immediately after the Titans had heard of the attack, the robots had fled to a desolate part of the docks and had waited for them. It was just disturbing that there was absolutely no indication of a trap. When Slade had a finger in the pie, there was ALWAYS a trap!

There! Robins eyes narrowed under his mask. On the roof of a house nearby a dark figure stood beside a gigantic chimney, observing their fight with interest! Another robot or maybe...? Like it mattered!

"Slade's up there!", he shouted to his team companions. "Can you get along without me?"

"Dude, are you joking?", Beast Boy yelled while shattering a robot in his form as a tyrannosaurus rex. "I haven't even begun to sweat, Slade's Robo-whimps are laughing stocks!"

"Yeah, looks like Slade's running out of robots", Cyborg added, dashing an opponent against the next wall by punch. "I expected a greater challenge from him, actually."

"Be careful, Robin", Raven raised her voice lastly. The mystic was focused on their surrounding, like if she was waiting for a trap. "Slade would only attack us, if he imagines himself to have a bulge on us."

"I know", he said, nodded and sprinted to the factory after some searching looks, not willing to give Slade even the slightest chance to leave. Some stairs and uses of grappling hooks later he cautiously raised his head over the edge of the rooftop and scanned it, right after that he started up to his feet in one fluid movement and assumed a fighting stance. When he heard nothing, he cautiously reached behind himself and took up his grappling hook with rope again, never letting the rooftop out of his sight. Nevertheless, he saw and heard nothing. Obviously Slade was hiding behind one of the chimneys and watching him.

"Where are you, Slade?", he asked loudly. "I know you wanna talk with me!"

"Why should I want to talk with you, Robin?", he suddenly heard the incredibly calm voice of his arch-enemy. "You rejected my offer to become my apprentice."

Robin scowled. "Don't talk with me like with a toddler!", he demanded while taking some steps forward and looking around over and over again. "If you just intended destroying something, you'd have sent more robots! This ridiculous little army down there had only one reason, to wit luring us over here! Why don't you simply quit this childish game and tell me straight out what you want from me this time?"

"Patience, Robin, patience", the voice reprimanded him. In the past days he would have flipped after that at the latest, but since he had started meditating with Raven, he had been able to stay concentrated and cool in their battles. Therefore he simply continued looking around without a word while waiting for Slades explanations.

"It seems to me that you've really changed since our last encounter, lil boy", the villain continued in the end. Anyhow, Slade sounded... fascinated. "Then I must probably push the things to the limit to find out what I need to know."

Suddenly Slades figure appeared next to a chimney. In his hand he held a remote control. But to control what?

"Do you see this, Robin?", he asked tauntingly and held it up. "This is the remote control that switches on the rest of my robot army. And I mean ALL robots – the ones that are hidden everywhere in the factories nearby. Only one press on that button", he said and laid his thumb on the trigger playfully, "and your friends will drown in opponents!"

"Not if I can prevent it!" There was a feeling gaining power in Robin's mind he hadn't felt for a long time... for many years actually. This had happened only once, at the time when he and Batman had caught the murderer of his parents... it was the almost uncontrollable desire to kill. To wipe out a constantly reappearing enemy once and for all! He suppressed the feeling quickly, being a little bit scared about this emotional outburst. "What do you want, Slade?", he asked, slowly shifting his weight. Only one more second...

"Quite simple, Robin", Slade answered and shrugged his shoulders. "I want you to..."

He couldn't complete his sentence. When Slade had unintentionally lifted his thumb away from the button cause of the shrug, Robin brought out one of his Robin-a-rangs in one incredibly fast movement and threw it. The projectile exploded when it hit Slade's armoured wrist and the villain had to drop the remote control. In the same moment Robin jumped forward, took out his bo staff and kicked the trigger out of his opponent's reach, while Slade was busy keeping his balance. When Robin shot a glance at Slade, his nemesis was just lifting his hands to assume a fighting stance.

"How perfidious you've become, Robin", the man behind the mask commented. "Don't you even allow your enemy to brag with his plans anymore?"

"Why should I?", Robin snarled at him. "You can tell me your stories just as well in prison!"

Slade blocked a blow with the bo staff from the left and made a step back as a precaution. While he was blocking two more blows from other directions, he said in a chatty tone: "But still I'm asking myself whether you would have taken such a risk in the past days. There was the possibility that I could have been faster than you."

"But you weren't, so what?", Robin uttered with his teeth bared, spun round and stroke at Slade's legs with his bo staff. The villain did a backflip to escape this attack, blocked another poke of Robin with his left hand and decided that it was about time to take the offensive. Robin parried the following blow with one end of his bo staff while thrusting Slade with the other end. His opponent accepted a painful hit into his ribs, grabbed the bo staff and reached for Robin with the other hand. The hero ducked and tried a kick into Slade's face. The rogue let go of the weapon and reached for Robin's foot instead. At the same moment the bo staff hit him into the back, forcing him to writhe with pain. Nevertheless he refused to let Robin go and hurled him against a chimney. Certainly Robin was able to turn in the air just in time, so he succeeded in falling on his feet, but when he was just getting a grip on himself again, Slade's fist shattered the bricks next to him, where he had been only a second ago. When he was getting on his feet again after a roll to the right, he could barely parry Slade's next blow, and so he had to take a few more steps back. But this time Slade didn't follow him. Both opponents were breathing heavily now.

"No, I weren't, indeed", Slade resumed their interrupted conversation. "But you couldn't be sure of that. You've become ruthless, Robin." Robin could almost see the grin behind the mask of his opponent. "You are finally rid of this bad influence."

Robin dealt a few more quick, well-aimed blows. After some tactical attacks and defences both opponents stopped once more and started gazing at each other again.

"What influence?", Robin asked distrustfully.

"Well, the influence of this pretty little alien of course, Robin. And she had a very bad influence on you, she suppressed your true abilities with her cursed innocence. Without her you'd have been able to exploit your full potential in our fights, you'd have been able to fight and maybe even eliminate a lot of enemies with REAL fury."

"Nonsense!", Robin shouted and attacked Slade once more. "Starfire has never been affecting my combat skills in any way!"

His bo staff hurtled towards Slade, but when the villain tried maintaining a defensive stance, Robin changed his grip on the weapon and with that the target. Now he was aiming at Slade's mask. Slade succeeded in cowering before he could get hit, but he wasn't able to dodge the following kick in the hollows of his knee. He quietly groaned, however, he managed to grip the bo staff, yanked Robin closer to him and kneed the boy in the guts. Robin gasped and tripped back. He looked out for an attack, but Slade seemed to think words could hurt him more.

"No nonsense, Robin", replied Slade and got up. "Today you attacked me insidiously. You'd have never done such a thing if Starfire had been here. Realize it, Robin, this little slut has done nothing but holding you back!"

"SHE IS NO SLUT!", Robin yelled. Anger surged within him in a fraction of a second, getting him to attack Slade with all his might. His blows rained upon the villain, now uncontrolled and badly aimed, but very fast and with the strength of a berserk. Although Slade tried to grap the bo staff once more, he winced every time from the brutal force of the blows, so he got no opportunity. Then Robin put an end to this fight with a final kick into Slades ribs and sent the villain flying against a chimney.

Robin should have stopped now at the latest, but he was so completely beside himself with rage that he let out an infuriated yell, jumped at Slade and stroke at the mask of his nemesis with everything he'd got. The head of the man jerked to the side with a sickening crack, the mask broke and the face behind the mask appeared... or better the cables and the now flickering monitor. Another robot!

"Amazing, Robin, truly amazing", the voice of the true Slade commented the fight. The triumph in this voice made Robin shuddering with fear. What had he done? "You were finally willing to kill me. If I had been there instead of my double, I maybe wouldn't have survived. I am proud of you."

"No", Robin refused. "You'd have fought much better than this robot!"

"Is that so, Robin?", asked the supervillain tauntingly. "Or is that just your bad conscience speaking?" He laughed nastily, while Robin only could stare at him with wide eyes. "Don't worry, boy, I'm not going to condemn your impressive action in the least. You have finally shown your willingness to kill. A very important trait for an apprentice."

"I am NOT your apprentice!", Robin screamed, but it was merely a reflex.

"Not yet", Slade had to admit. "But who knows, how long you'll be able to control the pain inside yourself? I know you, Robin, and I know your pain too. It is slowly corrupting you, forcing you to vent your spleen on your poor opponents. Maybe not today, maybe even not tomorrow... but some day you'll injure and finally kill a villain. And then you'll have no alternative but coming to me... because you'll have nobody else to release you from this pain. Or do you believe that your friends would tolerate a murderer in their team?"

"Shut up!", Robin shouted as loud as he could. It required all his strength staying calm and not attacking the Slade-bot again. "I'll never join you!"

"We'll see", Slade answered smugly. "See you soon, Robin." With this words the monitor flickered one last time and went out.

Just one moment later a door exploded behind him and his friends arrived on the roof. At least nothing had happened to them. When they saw Robin standing stiff as a poker over a totally wrecked robot, several eyebrows twitched.

"Hey, man", Beast Boy joked and took a close look on the robot. "If you've already been that rude to a simple robot, how'd you have dealt with Slade then?"

He laughed nervously, but Cyborg and Raven noted very well that Robin had winced at these words. He still hadn't turned round to them.

"Robin? What's wrong with you? What did Slade say to you?", Cyborg asked warily.

Raven said nothing. She simply passed the two boys and laid her hand on Robin's shoulder. "Robin", she whispered. "Whatever Slade told you, you mustn't take him seriously. Slade looks for every single weakness of his opponents and takes advantage of them. If you listen to him, he can exercise power over you."

"This time it's different, Raven", Robin replied in a broken voice. "Slade showed me... how my future will look like."

Before the girl could react appropriately startled, he tensed and turned round. Now he seemed to be strong and determined again, as usual.

"Doesn't matter, we should go back to the tower now, anyway. We can't do anything more here, our enemy's gone. Move!"

After that he passed them as if nothing had happened. Reluctantly they followed him.

* * *

As they had finally arrived at the tower after a very silent ride, Robin insisted on going to his room and staying there. To Cyborg's and Beast Boy's protests he gave evasive answers, like that he needed to spend some time alone now and that he'd explain everything to them later. Certainly the both hesitated, they could see that this conversation with Slade had hit him hard, but then they just shrugged. If he didn't want to talk right now, they'd never be able to force him to. 

Raven didn't see it that way. Robin had lost control of his emotions in the fight with Slade once more. She hadn't noticed it on the battlefield, because in combat emotions were always running high, but on their ride home and here in the Tower his feelings were that intense, that they were nearly slopping over the edge of his mind. She didn't really know why he had been completely beside himself in the city, but she felt, that his emotions had gone wild: Like in a melting pot fear, rage, dismay, self-hatred and grief were mixing into something that intense, that presumably even Cyborg and Beast Boy could feel traces of them. And she was an empath, for gods sake!

She had to help him, and she had to do it quickly, if she didn't, nobody knew what would happen to him... and to her. Her powers were already harder to control, because her emotions were stirring in response to the mix of feelings Robin was radiating. She had to prevent that at all costs! Buried in thoughts she had come to a stand in front of Robin's door. Cyborg and Beast Boy had let her go without a word, cause in the past it had never been clever keeping her, if she intended to leave. She took a deep breathe and calmed down her mind. Then she knocked at the door.

"Come in, Raven. The door's open", Robin answered from the inside.

She was a little bit surprised, nevertheless she accepted the invitation and opened the door. It was dark. Robin hadn't switched on the lights. The only things she could see of him were his shape sitting on the bed and his mask, which reflected the light of a blinking diode. It looked a little bit eerie. She switched on the lights.

"You expected me?", she asked to hide her nervousness.

"Who else should visit me now?", he put a counter question. "Cyborg and Beast Boy know exactly when they must leave me alone. In addition, I assumed that you may have felt my emotions for quite some time now."

She nodded. "At least you are still amenable to logical arguments", she noticed and forced a smile. She sat down beside him on the bed. "What do you wanna tell me?"

His expression darkened, when he remembered the scene, that had taken place today on the roof. Raven didn't dare pushing him. She knew that she'd get out more of him, if he told her the story of his own free will. She'd even have let herself carried away and would have touched his hand, but this wouldn't help him right now. The pain he was enduring was even more intense than the pain right after Starfires disappearance.

"It was a trap", he suddenly started talking directly. "Slade had hidden more robots everywhere in the factories. With his remote control he could have called them any time."

"I didn't see a remote control", Raven interrupted him. "Why didn't he call them?"

Robin opened one of the pockets in his belt and took out a small device. She could see only one single button. Nevertheless, Raven was much more interested in Robin's expression. He was tensed up.

"He couldn't call them", Robin answered, a dark tone in his voice. "I knocked the device out of his hand."

"Well, wasn't that a good thing?."

"No, it wasn't!", Robin shouted loudly, but regaining control immediately after this outburst. Raven was a little bit started, but when he looked at her beseeching, she calmed down again and nodded at him reassuring. "I... Raven, I may have knocked this thing out of his hand, but I didn't know whether I'd be fast enough! He could have pressed that button, before I was able to disarm him!"

Robin hid his face in his hands, while Raven looked at him slightly shocked. What Robin had confessed to her right now, didn't sound like the Robin she knew at all. But she had to calm him down first of all. Reluctantly she laid her hand on his back.

"You'd have become his slave again, if you didn't take away the remote control from him", she said quietly. "You wouldn't have tried it if your chances had been slim, would you?"

"I thought my chances were pretty good", he replied, calming down a little bit. "Slade was busy with telling me his plans and all I needed was just one second. But that's not the point, Raven. I risked YOUR lives!" He looked at his shaking hands. "For the first time in many years I've been... ruthless."

"Now pull yourself together, Robin!", Raven ordered the boy vigourously. But in reality she was worried herself. Robin didn't let himself go, he had never done! What the hell was the matter with him? "It went well. I can understand, that you didn't wanna work for Slade again and I'm sure Cyborg and Beast Boy would understand it too. AND you wouldn't have endangered us if your chances had been slim."

"I'm not even sure whether he wanted me to go with him today at all", Robin answered thoughtfully and looked at her through his mask. "I rather think it was a kind of... test."

"A test?" Raven's eyebrow twitched. This was getting more and more strange. "What test?"

"I pretty sure, that he just wanted to see, how far I'd go to fight him", Robin uttered and clenched his fists. It seemed to be very hard on him to say this. "He wanted to see whether he could provoke me into attacking him. And he succeeded, I lost control."

"But Robin, you've ever been angry in your fights against Slade", Raven tried to calm him. Slowly she began to relax. They seemed to have got over the worst. "We all know very well why you hate him. It's only natural that you give vent to your aggressions. He forced you to do things you'd never have even thought about."

Robin looked at her once more. His expression gave her the creeps... and she was Raven, the ice-princess! What the hell had happened between Slade and Robin, that he was frightened of himself now?

"But until now I've never tried to kill him, Raven", Robin whispered. He watched motionless how terror spread on Ravens face and continued: "You're right, Slade's driven me crazy often enough in the past. But I've always only tried to injure him until his surrender. Of course I've vent my aggressions on him in our fights, but I've never, NEVER intentionally tried to kill him."

It took some time until Raven had regained her poise. Robin said nothing in this time, even when two of his books flew out of his bookshelf. No excuse, no justification. He was waiting for her judgement. She swallowed. Robin... killing somebody? That made no sense at all! He had always been the incarnation of justice in her eyes.

"How?", she asked in a dry voice. "How did he do that?"

"He took advantage of my pain", Robin said in a constrained voice. "He knew exactly what he had to say to make me exploit my full potential, as he expressed it. He called Starfire a little slut, Raven... and after that I couldn't control myself anymore!" The boy pressed his hands on his eyes and started sobbing quietly, partly from grief about Starfire and partly from fury about his own reaction.

Raven was confronted with conflicting emotions. On the one hand the shock about Robins action was still controlling a great part of her thoughts, but of course she could sense the mixture of love and grief Robin was feeling for Starfire. Indeed, he had subdued his emotions thanks to her, but somebody like Slade knew exactly how to transform these emotions into raging anger. Even if Raven couldn't really understand some emotions, she could see the pangs of remorse for his action and the self-hatred in each of his gestures nevertheless. Robin had made a mistake because he hadn't been able to control his emotions..., but something like that had happened to her too. She knew this remorse. And she knew that she couldn't leave him alone now. She had been unwilling to accept any help of her friends after this accident with Dr. Light, but actually she had needed Cyborg's and Beast Boy's help just as Robin needed her help now. She moved closer to him and started stroking his back reluctantly. She bent over him.

"Robin...", she whispered, "I can understand you. I really do. You couldn't control your emotions, and therefore somebody would have nearly died. I know that you're blaming yourself now, but in fact it's that guilt that makes clear you didn't intend going berserk. It was a mistake, yes, but it was a mistake too, that we left you alone with an enemy like Slade. You mustn't incur all guilt, or you'll break down mentally."

Robin had sobered down while she had been speaking and after she had ended, he raised his head and looked at her. She felt a little bit uneasy. She had never been that close to anybody apart from her mother. And Robin was feeling hurt and lonely... As if he had read her thoughts, he accomplished a very faint smile and laid his hand on her.

"Don't be afraid, Raven. I won't do something rash once more today... although the thought isn't completely unpleasant." While Raven was wide-eyed, he snorted, amused. "But I want to truly thank you... and please don't try pretending that you did all of that just for your own peace of mind."

That raised a smile even on Ravens face. "You're welcome, Robin", she replied softly. "Nobody knows your situation better than I do, even if I wished, it'd never have come so far. But it happened, and now I'll be there if you need me."

Robin sighed. "I'd never have thought that we'd confabulate with each other sometime", he confessed. His face darkened. "I only wished that it wouldn't have cost us a friend."

Raven nodded understanding and freed her hand. "Nobody can or will ever be able to replace Starfire, neither in combat nor here in the tower. But she wouldn't have wanted us to let ourselves go, don't you think?"

Robin nodded. Raven got up satisfied and just wanted to go, when he suddenly seized her wrist and held her back. Before she could do anything, he had already got up and pulled her in a hug. For one moment she was stiff as a board, but she heard his voice. It sounded constrained.

"I don't think... that I could've gone through all that without you, Raven."

She closed her eyes resignedly and wrapped her arms around him. "We couldn't have made it without you neither, Robin", she reminded him. "The Titans have already lost a very important member. If you'd disappear too, the team would break up. So promise me that you won't do anything stupid."

"I promise."

"Well", she said and freed herself. She ran her fingers through her hair sheepishly. "If you don't object, I'll go meditating then. This... conversation stirred me up a bit."

Robin nodded merely and watched her leaving his room. Silently he went back to his bed and slumped onto the mattress. Why had Raven never shown them before, that she was a caring person? Well, maybe because of the books that had fallen out of his bookshelf, and some of his electronic components that were lying on the floor now cause of their... conversation. But a talk like this was so precious... she should really come out of her shell (or rather her room) more often. Robin felt cheap because of his lie.

Okay, it wasn't exactly a lie. He wouldn't commit suicide and he wouldn't run away because of his feelings of guilt. But he had no doubt that Slade would try to kill the Titans in order to call Robin's dark, ruthless side forth again. Therefore, he had to leave them. For their own safety's sake. At least until he had caught Slade, then he could return.

He needed much equipment, if he wanted to leave the tower, a hiding place and the whole stuff. He had still some time before he had to leave his friends. But he had to be very careful when being on duty. Slade wasn't allowed to lay his hands on his friends before Robin was ready to move into his hiding place. Once he was there, it wouldn't be all too difficult to track down Slade and finish him off. Nevertheless, he had to make his position clear to the others. He wasn't abandoning them, it was just a short trip to finally get rid of Slade..., otherwise Ravens prophecy would become true. The Teen Titans would break up.

* * *

Uh-oh... Robin and Raven are becoming more and more OOC, aren't they? But this is the end of it, I swear. Robin'll focus on Slade now and the others... well, they'll get their own problems. Reviews please. 


	6. Separation

**Time can't heal all wounds**

Disclaimer: Do I have to? Okay, they don't belong to me.

CuteCherryBlossom: Soon enough?

Aurora Starcrystal: I hope they're a little bit less OOC this time, well, I tried at least. And if you liked Slade, I hope you'll like his next appearance too.

* * *

_Chapter 6: Separation_

"Damn it, what a day", Beast Boy scolded while getting out of the T-Car. He went to the other side of the car and helped Cyborg getting out too. He had to shift into his gorilla-form in order to cope with this task, because the metallic teen had no choice but resting his whole weight on him. Raven and Robin slipped out of the front part of the car silently and tried to aid him as good as possible, but Beast Boy didn't stop muttering.

After they had just barely managed carrying and dragging Cyborg to his room, the boy groaned and leaned against the wall. "Thanks, guys", he mumbled and entered the access code to unlock the door. "From here on I'll make it on my own. I think it'd be best if I sit down immediately and start replacing my blown circuits."

"Do you need any help with this, Cy?", asked Robin although he could already imagine the answer. He did it just on principle.

"No, actually you can't help me", Cyborg declined. "I've got all necessary things I need in here, I guess, and if I really need someone to get me a replacement, then I'll call you. And now buzz off, you need some sleep just as much as I do."

With that he hefted himself through the door and closed it from the inside. Wordless the three other Titans turned away and went back to the common room. There they parted automatically. While Robin immediately headed for the computer to analyze their last mission once again, Raven floated into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. Beast Boy slumped onto the couch and zapped though the TV-channels. Besides, he started mumbling away to himself again while hopping from channel to channel listlessly. Normally Robin could easily ignore Beast Boy's behaviour, but this day had taxed his patience beyond the breaking point, the TV sounds were just the straw that broke the camel's back. Frustrated he turned round.

"Damn it, Beast Boy, what's wrong with you? You can't expect me to focus on this while being forced listening to your mutterings!"

"Do you've a problem with me, Boy Wonder?", the shape-shifter asked and turned round. His eyes were narrowed and his lips were compressed tightly.

"Indeed", Robin replied indignantly. "Since we got out of the T-Car, you've given me black looks over and over again. Did you really think I wouldn't notice this? We DO have a rear-view mirror in the car! If you're bearing me a grudge, then tell me straight-out!"

"Oh you really wanna know it?", Beast Boy shouted even more loudly and got up. "Fine, as you wish! I think you committed a bad blunder today, that's how it is! If we charged into the warehouse immediately, we'd have been able to surprise Cinderblock, before Plasmus could attack us in the rear! Only because they succeeded in separating us, the concrete block had enough time to beat up Cy – and now he can't move his legs anymore!"

"Quit it, Beast Boy!", Raven warned him in a dangerous tone from the kitchen. But as some fear crept into the expression of the shape-shifter, Robin shook his head.

"No, Raven, don't bother him", he objected and narrowed his eyes. "If he wants to speak, let him speak."

"Don't you think that you're acting incredibly patronising, Robin? Nevertheless, there's no way round it that you've waited much too long, and only because of that Cyborg's falling apart now!"

"Maybe it escaped your notice, that Robin was the one who drew off Cinderblock' attention of Cyborg while we're still busy fighting Plasmus?", Raven threw in snappishly while floating out of the kitchen and putting down her tea on the table. None of the boys noticed.

"Thanks, Rae, but I can speak for myself", Robin said coolly, never turning his masked eyes away from Beast Boy. "So, you think I have hesitated too long?"

"Damn right", Beast Boy continued, now noticeably getting in rage. He had pressed his hands against the couch's armrest and had bared his teeth. " I TOLD you I could smell Plasmus behind us, but you were just yellow to attack one of them! All they had to do then was taking advantage of this mistake and heckle us!"

Robins had crossed his fingers in front of his face. Now his knuckles were becoming white slowly, but unfortunately Beast Boy couldn't see it because of Robin's gloves. "I didn't dare attacking Cinderblock because we didn't know if he was alone in this warehouse", he growled. "And if we had attacked Plasmus, Cinderblock would have stabbed us in the back for sure. Therefore, I wanted them attacking US, so that we could see them both."

"Touching, your providence", mocked Beast Boy. "But unfortunately, Cy had to pay for your misjudgement! What do you have to say in this case, Boy Wonder?"

For a moment Robin appeared outwardly quiet, although he was doing a slow burn. The anger on Beast Boy, the rage on himself and the guilt about Cyborg's plight was bothering him. However, his voice remained quiet and clear as he answered.

"I don't need to justify myself to you, Beast Boy", he announced. "Maybe I made a mistake. But maybe I even saved our lifes. You don't know what would have happened, if we attacked the warehouse. Okay, if only Cinderblock was inside, we maybe could have overpowered him before Plasmus had reached us. But they were there by order of Slade. I've got no doubt that inside the factory Slade had prepared a few nice hidden traps for us."

"Saved, you say? Cyborg's only playing down his damage, he isn't really sure whether he can patch up himself again, we all could see that!" Beast Boy growled. "I'd rather say being saved by you was at least as risky as getting caught in Slade's traps!"

"You mustn't under..."

"...estimate Slade, I know. But you know what, Robin? I think, you're overestimating him! Since you freaked out on this factory roof some time ago, you've become overcautious!" A sardonic grin played on his lips. "You wanna hear what I believe? You're frightened of Slade, Robin!"

"Beast Boy, that's enough!", Raven finally decided to intervene when Robin's fist hit the table below it, causing the poor piece of furniture to vibrate. The boy seemed trying hard not to lose his temper. The both weren't allowed to fly into a passion now! "Robin has done what he thought was necessary to protect us!"

"Yeah, align yourself with Robby, why not?", Beast Boy jeered. He was so full of adrenaline, that it seemed he wasn't even frightened of Raven's wrath anymore. "Well, actually I'm not really surprised, when I remember how often you've been _meditating_ together lately. You must have come to know each other pretty well. Who knows, maybe you're even glad about the fact that Starfire's gone?" Because he was hissing in this moment, he didn't witness, that behind him a potted plant exploded. "The whole team has been going to blazes since Starfire's disappearance, and you both apparently don't care a damn! That's the limit, I'm outta here!"

With that he ran to the door and opened it. A moment later he shifted into a falcon and disappeared in the night. It took quite some time, until silence returned into the room, maybe because of the fact that Robin continued banging his fist on the alarmingly vibrating table silently cursing. And Raven's powers, that caused some things in the room to float and break, did their bit in increasing the volume too. Robin was, in the end, the first one who gathered himself again.

"He'll come back, Raven", he turned to the girl, who had closed her eyes and was intonating her spell. "He hasn't... meant all that seriously."

"He sounded pretty serious to me!", Raven hissed and sat down on the couch violently breathing. She held her eyes still closed. Robin waited a few seconds, before he continued speaking in a quiet, reassuring voice.

"He's afraid, Raven, that's all", he explained. "He's afraid, that we won't be able to bring down monsters like Plasmus and Cinderblock anymore, cause we're lacking Star's strength. And because we have retreated so often in the last months, he's wrecked with tension. He needed this opportunity to get all the frustration off his soul. He'll come back, believe me."

"I don't even know whether I want him to", Raven murmured, ran her fingers through her hair nervously and looked at the destruction she had caused in the room.

"It's not so bad, Raven", Robin calmed her down and got up. "Just go to your room. I'll stay and clear up this mess a bit... and I'll prepare some tofu for Beast Boy, then I'll hit the sack too."

"Sometimes you're so sickly nice I can barely endure you, Robin", the mystic commented, keeping a straight face. But her tone wasn't very harsh. She got up, put on her hood and prepared for leaving. "Good night. And I think you've done the right thing today."

Robin watched her disappearing in the hall, then he started removing the broken things in the room. Meanwhile his thoughts were whirling through his head. Yes, presumably he had made the right decision. Since Slade had managed bringing him to the verge of rage, he had been very careful if a crime bore the hallmarks of the villain. Maybe Beast Boy was right and he had become overprotective, but this was still better than falling into a rage again and trying to kill somebody.

Indeed, Cyborg had really been injured... and that caused Robin sorrow. Slade had left no doubt that he'd completely destroy the Titans to get Robin as an apprentice. Very likely that had been the sense of today's attack. Maybe Slade had intended killing one of the Titans. Robin sat down on the chair again and stared at the tofu on the table in front of him. He felt torn. On the one hand he wanted his friends to get hurt under no circumstances, but the attacks wouldn't stop as long as he was living here in the tower..., on the other hand Raven had brought home the message what would happen, if Robin left the Titans.

Slowly he pulled a piece of paper out of one of his belt pockets, unfolded it and read it. He had written it a few months ago already, after his last close conversation with Raven. His preparations had been completed a long time ago... however, Robin had still been hoping that nothing could happen to the mighty Titans. A mistake, as it had been demonstrated today.

Robin placed the letter on the table, where it would be found immediately in the morning. Then he got up and cast a last regretful glance at the big room. What he had to do now, was very difficult for him. Uncertainly he held up his communicator. Should he leave it behind too? But his whole body was struggling against this thought. No, he couldn't. But he'd have to switch it off and deactivate his detection signal. He pocketed it again and slowly shut the door behind him. Brisk, cold wind was blowing when he stepped out of the Tower. It was just for their own good, he kept telling himself while approaching his motorcycle he had parked out of the garage as a precaution. But he couldn't silence his bad conscience entirely. He had promised Raven to be strong for her, and breaking this promise was very hard on him... but even less he wanted her or the boys getting killed because of standing in Slade's way. That way, so he was hoping, Slade would simply ignore the Titans and focus on tracking down the now invisible Robin.

He didn't look back when he left the tower and his friends.

* * *

Cyborg fell to ground hard. However, he clenched his teeth, lifted his arm which had already changed into a plasma cannon and shot at the fleeing Mumbo, blowing the silk hat off the magician's head. When the rogue turned round furiously to start another magic trick, Beast Boy, who had been floating above him as a falcon, took a nosedive, shifted into a lizard and disappeared in Mumbos trouser leg.

If he hadn't been bothering about his circuits, Cyborg would have been convulsing with laughter. Mumbo went into acrobatic contortions for a whole minute before he finally dropped his magic wand. He'd been waiting for that. Cyborg aimed briefly and shot the stick to pieces. Immediately after the magician had changed into his everyday appearance again, Beast Boy slipped out of the trouser leg and shifted back into his human form while the rogue was collapsing all out of breath.

"Hey, Cy, 's everything all right with you?", he asked and darted a black, penetrating glance at Mumbo.

"Fairly well", the metallic man replied. He tried to get up and he succeeded only just. Mumbo seemed to have damaged him with the upgraded paralyser, that he had hidden in his glove, more seriously than he had supposed. He cursed. This wouldn't have been able to damage his original systems, but since this cause with Cinderblock he had barely managed to patch himself. At that time some important cables and microchips had fallen apart and the replacements, which he had used to repair himself, weren't simply that robust. "Deliver this scoundrel to the police station, I'll see you in the tower."

Beast Boys looked at him worriedly. "Do you really need no help, Cy?", he inquired. "I could easily tie him up and bring you back first."

"Stop talking rubbish!", Cyborg snapped at him more gruffly than he wanted. "You're acting like I'm completely wrecked! I just need to exchange one or two cables, then I'll be totally okay again. Go!"

Beast Boy shot another disbelieving glance at him, but then he shifted into a pterodactyl and seized the screaming Mumbo. Two minutes later they were out of Cyborg's sight. He sighed and executed a temporary system check. He wasn't completely sure about it, but it was quite clear that Mumbo had destroyed the replacements... once again. After he had got the result, he compressed his lips. Yes, he had been right. But, in addition, the burnt cables had caused another card module to blow, that was responsible for the energy transfer from battery to the processors. Well, he wasn't run out just because of that, but the effect was, that the other card modules had to transfer even more energy, and the risk they would overload sometime was once again increasing. That such a mistake had happened in a fight against Mumbo, proved how weakened he was. If he'd have had to fight against Cinderblock today... then he'd have lost more than just some cables and a card module.

As he was walking along the street slowly, Cyborg cursed Robin not for the first time during the last days cause he had disappeared without a single word. Well, at least he had been tactful enough to leave a farewell letter behind, but the Teen Titans were supposed to act as a team! He hadn't even asked them whether they'd agree to his solo attempt against Slade! Well, if they could believe his scribble, Robin wasn't acting from obsession this time but from worry about the team, indeed. But he had gravely underestimated, how hard his leave would hit them.

Cyborg was still remembering the moment when Raven had found the letter in the morning after their quarrel with Beast Boy. He had woken up when hearing an explosion. As it turned out, Raven had sent the television into the digital nirvana. Okay, that was quite understandable if you took into account what she had just read. Cyborg had run down into the common room as fast as he could, but still he hadn't been able to save some cups and plates from Raven's rampaging powers. At first he had tried to calm down the girl, who was constantly screaming somewhat like "And I told him unmistakably not to do exactly that!" and "You arrogant, lying son of a viper!", while she was trying to flare the letter with her glances. At last she had just darted a dreadful look at him and then had thrown the letter over to him, right before she had gone up to the roof of the tower in order to save some of the furniture from her rampaging powers.

When he had read the writing it had become absolutely clear to him, why Raven had reacted so violently. Robin had written that he was sure Slade would kill the Titans one after another in order to unleash Robin's fury. Just because he didn't want to take the risk of seeing them dying he had decided to leave the team as long as he needed to bring down Slade or at least to track the villain down. Then he'd return immediately. He had written that they shouldn't think he was obsessed with Slade again. He was leaving them only because nobody of them should get injured, because he believed that Slade wouldn't attack the Titans anymore but focus on the disappeared Robin. He'd come on the scene every now and then to distract Slade.

The next sentence had made Cyborg drop his jaw with shock. Robin had scribbled on the paper in a hurry, that he wouldn't lose another family to a madman, that it was his duty to protect them with all his might - even if he had to leave them in addition. He ordered him, Cyborg, and Beast Boy to look after Raven. She'd be in a dire need of their support, even if she denied it. At the end of the letter he had written that he hoped, they'd see each other soon again, but also that he wouldn't contact them until he had reached his purpose.

Cyborg had of course been able to understand, why Robin was doing all that and he had been proud of the deep friendship between them and the disguised boy... but this hadn't hindered him from feeling betrayed. Once more Robin hadn't let them into his plans, even if it was clear to him why. They'd have never let him go. He had slumped onto the couch, until an abashed Beast Boy had returned during the morning and had asked for Robin and Raven. Cyborg had handed over the letter to him silently. However, he hadn't been reckoning on the reaction of the shape-shifter in the slightest.

Beast Boy had turned as pale as a ghost (a sick ghost if he considered his green skin) and had sunk on the knees. Then he had begun wailing at the top of his voice, that all this was only his fault because he had blamed Robin for Cy's damages from the evening before. In the end, Cyborg had been able to calm him, Robin had already been planning this for a long time because his room had been almost completely empty. He had removed all important things before he had left them. Then they had sat side by side silently for a few minutes. None of them had dared to look after Raven, after they had heard another explosion on the roof of the tower.

Cyborg finally arrived at the T-Car and got in. He spent the ride in determined concentration, without any unnecessary thought. Immediately after he had arrived in the tower, he went to his room and began checking his damages again, but the result remained the same: The damage wasn't life-threatening, but extremely dangerous if it came to a fight. Normal bank robbers were still no problem for him in combat, but somebody with superpowers or this little bug Gizmo, who knew exactly where to hit him, would have the golden opportunity to take him out once and for all. This card module couldn't simply be removed because he'd be inoperative then. And nobody in the tower had the necessary mechanical talent to carry out this major repair. If this person would make only a small mistake, the deplorable guy could be fried or could cause further damage.

It amounted to nothing. Because this damaged card module was overloading his batteries in record time, he'd have to exchange them very much earlier than planned ... maybe once a year. He shuddered. His father had produced about fifteen batteries which would normally have been enough for his whole life. Now he still had thirteen of them. To put it briefly, he'd be able to leave the tower for thirteen more years, but after that he'd have to stay there permanently if he didn't want to break down on the street discharged. Thirteen years! And he couldn't even assist Beast Boy and Raven in bringing down real supervillains, because he could easily be damaged irreparably... at the moment even one single blow from Cinderblock could be enough to destroy the rest of his systems completely.

What should he do now? Should he eke out a miserable existence here in the tower being unable for serious work? No, no chance! Maybe he should write to S.T.A.R. Labs whether they could help him. Yes, maybe he should do that. And as long he'd just need to be very careful.

Suddenly he heard the Titan's emergency call. His reflexes assumed control of his body. He was standing in front of the gigantic monitor, before he could even realize, what he was doing. For one second he stopped in motion, but than it dawned on him that Robin wasn't here anymore to take charge. He sighed quietly and entered the passwords himself. Immediately the monitor displayed,which crime it was: a simple bank robbery. He looked around, but Beast Boy hadn't come back yet and Raven... well, Raven was busy enough with regaining control of her powers at the moment. Oddly enough Robin's disappearance seemed to have hit her even harder than himself or Beast Boy. Cyborg wouldn't have thought actually, that Robin meant so much to her, even if they had been meditating a lot together in the last month. But he could deal with that later. Now he had to infringe this bank robbery, and after that he had to write to S.T.A.R. Labs about his problem. Hesitatingly he palpated once again the part of his back where the damaged card module was, then he made an effort and ran to the T-Car. If he just had waited one more minute, then he'd have seen the data that was appearing on the screen after his leave.

Villain identified: Gizmo

* * *

Beast Boy entered the Tower very quietly, but when he heard no explosions, he sighed with relief. At least, they seemed to have got over worst. During the first day after she had found this damned letter Raven had blown up more things than in months before. He had already been afraid she'd leave no window in the tower intact, but apparently the uninterrupted hours of meditating were slowly bringing about an effect. Raven hadn't even been able to help them fighting villains anymore because her powers were immediately becoming unstable if she stopped meditating for more than half an hour. All the livelong day she was doing nothing but meditating until she fell in her bed completely exhausted in the evening.

Beast Boy wouldn't like to be in her shoes. Robins disappearance particularly seemed to have afflicted her, although he had no clue why. Okay, at that time he had claimed that there could be something between the both and he was still feeling incredibly ashamed for that. It had been unfair on Raven, it had been unfair on Robin, it had been even unfair on Starfire. But there had to have been a special affiliation between the two. Anyhow, it seemed like Raven had completely lost her psychic balance. Like Robin had been anything like an anchor.

Without even wanting it he had broken out into a new direction – up to the roof. He hesitated briefly. It had never been very wise to disturb Raven while she was meditating, and now least of all. But he forced himself to do it, nevertheless. Robin had ordered them to look after Raven, and he was determined to follow this instruction. He swallowed briefly before he opened the iron door to the roof.

"Rae?", he asked nervously. "Are you out there?"

"Azarath... Metrion... Zinthos!"

Ah. "Are you okay? Do you need something?"

"Azarath..."

"Listen, Rae..." Very cautiously he had an eye on the dark, floating figure who was sitting averted from him, looking westward. "I... if I can help you somehow, then..."

"Metrion..."

"I mean, me and Cy, we're worrying about you. If there's anything we can do to help you, then we'll do it, really everything..."

"Zinthos..."

"I'd even go through your creepy mirror once again, if I could help you..."

BAM!

Beast Boy jumped aside terrified when the door suddenly yielded to the pressure. The explosion had disrupted both hinges. He watched stunned, how the heavy piece of metal fell to the ground. Suddenly Raven turned her head. She was looking scary! Under her red eyes lay dark shadows and she looked completely exhausted. Her hair was dishevelled by the winds. But she still managed to look sinister.

"Don't you DARE do that again", she whispered menacingly. Nothing more.

"Hey, okay, okay... I won't", the shape-shifter murmured. "I... I only wanted to help..."

"Thanks", Raven replied harshly. "But you can't help me. And now leave alone me please. We can talk, when I've regained control of my powers."

Beast Boy didn't dare to ask, when this would be. Instead, he left the girl alone and went down to the common room again. Actually he wanted to pitch into the fridge to prepare a sandwich after this stressful day, when his eyes fell on the computer where the announcement of the bank robbery was still blinking. He ran his eyes over the note. Cyborg had to have opened the file, Raven had been on the roof for hours definitely. And he was nowhere to be seen, that meant he probably was in the city. But why would he want to fight against Gizmo in his condition?

Beast Boy didn't think about the case any further, but rushed to the door and shifted into a falcon still running. It lasted only a few minutes until he had reached the scene of the crime, but to him they seemed to be several years. He scouted the area immediately and his fear proved to be true: Gizmo was just stalking out of the bank on his spider legs, carrying several bags of money. In front of the building lay the lifeless figure of Cyborg. At least his technical half seemed to be dead. Beast Boy was boiling over with rage. No, he wouldn't lose one more friend! He emitted a piercing cry and made a nose dive toward the ground.

Gizmo had heard that of course and he shot at this new target immediately, but Beast Boy avoided this danger by shifting into a stegosaurus. Gizmo stared at him with wide eyes and buzzed off. Briefly before he hit the ground Beast Boy shifted into a black martin and slid above the ground weightlessly, landed right under Gizmo and shifted into a gorilla. Indeed, the small villain tried to aim at him, but after Beast Boy had seized two of his iron spider legs, he lost his balance. The young hero raised the dwarf above his head roaring and threw him against the next wall.

Anyhow Gizmo managed turning his spider legs behind him and resisting the impact. Nevertheless he was busy keeping his balance for some moments, and so he didn't note kangaroo Beast Boy, who jumped on him and felled him. A few seconds later anaconda Beast Boy had already embraced all six legs of the bank robber and the reptile's head approached Gizmo's head and hissed. The H.I.V.E. student looked quite nervous. In a hurry he blasted off his legs from his back and bobbed up. Beast Boy had just been waiting for that. He became a gorilla again, griped Gizmo, tore his controller off his back and pressed the small villain against the wall. Then he took his human shape again. The wannabe-gangster trembled. He was used to this piercing look in Raven's and probably Robin's face, but not in Beast Boy's.

"I'm going to ask you only once, squirt", Beast Boy clarified with a venomous smile. "What have you done to Cyborg?"

"Almost nothing at all", Gizmo squeaked and tried fighting himself free. "Honestly! He shot at me, I extended my spider legs and dashed him against the wall, when he was busy transforming his hand... and then all at once all his lights went off! I was rather surprised, how easy it was to take him out this time."

"And did you ever see an oyster walk upstairs?", asked Beast Boy and transformed his head into that of a lion briefly.

"But that's the absolute truth!", Gizmo yelled. "I swear it!"

"As if you hadn't ever broken your word", Beast Boy replied, registering satisfied that Gizmo had become a little bit paler. "But I assume that you're much too scared of lying to me now."

"But there has to be something wrong with tin man, he isn't that fragile normally", Gizmo intervened again. "Listen, if you promise to let me go today, I could have a look at him. Maybe I can fix him."

For a moment Beast Boy was seriously considering this proposal. Then he shook his head. "No, no chance. Cy'd kill me if I'd allow you to come near him. First I'll deliver you at the police station, then I'll take a closer look at him myself."

"Ha!", Gizmo countered abusively. "As if you knew how!"

Unfortunately, Beast Boy had to agree with him. Nevertheless, he didn't see why he should grant Gizmo this triumph, thus he became an elephant, seized Gizmo with his trunk and carried the clamouring dwarf to the police headquarters, to the delight of some schoolboys on their way home. Immediately afterwards he rushed back to the bank and sighed with relief. Cyborg was still lying there, obviously unable to move. He hoped desperately, that this would change as soon as he connected the larger boy to his charging equipment at home. But he really was at his wits' end. He didn't have the slightest clue how the clockwork inside of Cy was ticking, and Raven wasn't exactly a skilled help, let alone a specialist in cybernetics.

Groaning he raised the heavy body in his pterodactyl-form and brought him back to the tower. Today really wasn't Cyborg's day. But he'd actually be quite glad if it wasn't the last day of his friend at all.

* * *

I never knew how difficult translating a story can be. Well, as long as you like it... R x R please 


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